A
female
age
30-35,
*iggles1992
writes:Me and my husband have been living with his mom for 2 years. We have 2 small kids. I wanna get our own place but he doesn't want to. He has a 2012 chrysler 300 c that he got a year ago and a 2007 pick up he got 5 months ago. He says he doesn't have enough money to get our own place. I have told him if I got a job we could do it. He gets paid 18.00 dollers an hour at his job. He goes out with friends to bars, strip clubs and he goes gambling. I'm I doing the right thing by believing him? Or is he right?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2013): You don't have to take his word for it; go over your budget with him.
If you two don't have a budget, you should.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2013): "[Am] I doing the right thing by believing him?"
Sorry, but you're being incredibly naïve, gullible and foolish if you think that sperm donor is remotely interested in behaving like a responsible husband and father.
You are stuck living with his mother because he is spending his money the way he wants doing what he wants and apparently she is willing to enable him.
I can only assume your first pregnancy preceded the marriage so you now are experiencing the tragically predictable disastrous fallout of unplanned teenage pregnancy resulting from irresponsible behavior, and you've only compounded your bad judgment by quickly conceiving a second child that you are essentially raising by yourself as well.
Sadly, I must agree with iAmHereToHelpYou's bleak prognosis for your shotgun marriage. You must prepare for the likelihood that you will be a single mother sooner rather than later, and you can't always count on his mother to put a roof over your head. Given that his father isn't in the picture, I can only assume that sperm donor is living what he learned about being a husband and father, which is nothing.
All you can do is do your best to give your kids the best possible start in life under incredibly difficult circumstances and hope they don't perpetuate the cycle of dysfunctional home life leading to teenage pregnancy with unhappy results for all concerned. Do you really want your kids' unplanned spawn living with you eighteen years from now?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2013): Living on your own means paying all your bills on your own. 18 bucks an hour ain't bad at your age BUT he can spend as he is doing because his mother is paying all the bills. Even if he pays her rent it is less then it would costs to get a place of your own.
Never mind that his Mom probably does part of the housework and treats him as a mom would a son. Living at home with your mom taking care of you and a gf to fuck too and all your money being able to spend on having fun.
Why on earth should he want things to change?
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