A
male
age
36-40,
*arren R
writes:Why dosen't it pay to be a nice guy? i do all i can 4 her and still no reward just get crap. I even tryed being bad to her and i got crap. So why are woman attracted to a%^ and *^*4? and why are they messed up? Someone tell me? because im so lost and confused.
View related questions:
player Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2007): Not all women are attracted to this type. There are millions who are not. Keep looking and holding out for them. But having said that, don't let anyone tell you that it's not about the fact that these guys just ARE bad. Because it is.
Myself I look better than average. I'm no Colin Farrel or anything but the word "hottie" has been said about me behind my back more than once. Maybe I am 8/10.
Well, let me tell you that I ALWAYS got more attention from the female acqaintances that I was indifferent about than the ones I actually expressed much interest in.
For years as a teenager I seriously could not figure out what was going wrong with girls. I couldn't figure out why it seemed like every girl I was not interested in was reliably the one who was ga-ga over me. It was aggravating. It didn't seem related to where the girls were on the attractiveness scale or anything. The predictable common factor was that as long as I didn't bother to treat a girl with any interest (or even much politeness a lot of the time), they were much more interested in me than the girls I was nicer to and took more of an interest in.
This is really what goes on with a lot of girls. I didn't want to think of females like this. I was not raised to think of women like this or anything and I still feel kind of bad about it. But this ugly way to see a lot of women is true. It got beaten into my head with years and years of pure life experience.
Just hold out for the ones who are not like this. They seem to be way outnumbered by the others, but they're out there.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2007): I'll tell you why... because 9 times out of 10 if a guy is an asshole he's probably also good looking. And women are attracted to good looking guys. A not so hot looking guy has to be super sweet and kind but a really hot guy can afford to be a little playerish because there are women who will want them anyway. I know it's so horrible!! But true...
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2007): Well how nice are you talking here?
If you act like one of her girlfriends then of course she's not going to want to keep you around, and as far as treating her badly to get her to like you more, man that's ridiculous.
Also I don't think being a generic bad guy means you have to treat your girl like dirt, I've been told I'm bad, but I act like a gent with I'm with women, I'd never call a girl I liked a bitch, or down talked her in any way.
It's pathetic to do so.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2007): I'm sure she didn't break up with you citing "You're too nice"; or even if she did, she was lying. Women don't break up with men because they are too nice, they break up with them because they are too weak, indecisive, feminine, passive, agreeable or just plain ol' boring. Unfortunately these qualities are often construed and oversimplified in to the term of being "too nice".
But in your case, it sounds more like you can't admit your own faults so have instead decided it must be because of her own issues that the relationship didn't work out.
I mean, did you seriously treat her bad, expecting that it would attract her to you? No wonder you lost her, and no wonder you seemingly don't understand a thing about women.
You are obviously hurt, understandably, but don't put all the blame on her, or on to women. Each person has a part to play in why a relationship didn't work out. Often it is simply because those two people just arent compatible with one another. See things that way, it'll stop you from turning bitter and resentful towards all women. Otherwise you will just carry on these feelings on to the next women you meet. Wrong time, wrong person - learn from it and perhaps the next women you meet will be right for you and you right for them?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2007): Maybe your trying too hard, being a bit too desperate?
...............................
A
female
reader, Minelisse  +, writes (30 November 2007):
 Some women are attracted to "bad boys", the thing is you seem to be attracted to those women. Not all women like bad boys. I believe the thing I find interesting of "bad boys" is they are intriguing, mysterious and stand their ground. However, I do not date bad boys for more than 2 months because I like to be treated with respect and most of them don't know what that means because they are so self absorbed.
My suggestion: analyze yourself and your behaviors. Why are you attracted to that kind of women? How can you change that? What is it that draws you to them? On the other hand, is there something you should change about yourself as a partner? Is there something you are not giving or giving too much of?
You cannot change how other people feel or act but you can change you to make yourself happy. Good luck!
...............................
A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (30 November 2007):
I'm also curious and have asked myself that question a million times.I'm an adult now but remember how girls used to turn me down in high school and go for the guys i considered "unfit" for them.Here's the 911 on this.I'll let you in because i've asked ALOT of girls that question.
Some say they find a very romantic,poetic type of guy pleasing to the ear but boring in an affair.They say they like a man who knows what he wants and is able to convince her to change her mind.e.g are you able to convice a girl to sleep over bt your place on your 1st date? Bad guy attitude.They don't like guys who are possesive almost like an obsession.Bad guys believe in being begged rather than begging.Sometimes women are turned on by guys with a rough character.Most women say that bad guys are usually extremely good in bed and so wouldn't mind sharing him.They also say bad guys know how to have fun and it's part of their nature and this excites alot of ladies.Though i don't know what they mean by fun.Did you know that some women would rather you smack them if they did something seriously wrong rather than just say it's ok? And i bet you've swore to never hit a woman.
LOTS of women are attracted to the things,US NICE GUYS,think are bad.But take comfort that there's someone out there who's praying for a person like you to come their way.So if she don't love you for who you are move on and try elsowhere coz she's not worth your love.I've found someone who loves me for who i am and i'm sure you'll find yours.
Sometimes what causes what you are going through is what i love to call MOJO.It's the art of attracting the opposite sex even without speaking a word.This i believe comes to a man at different stages in different guys' lives.Haven't you ever noticed some guys find it so easy to hook up where as others it's a struggle? MOJO comes to guys at different times or stages in life and rarely stays for life.Believe me your time will come for you to have MOJO but i hope you can be faithful.I can't really explain it but a time will come when women will be attracted to you and you'll have a headache of choosing.You aint got mojo now but please don't despair.
All the best.
...............................
A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (30 November 2007):
 We are not all attracted to bad dudes. Many of us appreciate the "on the level" guy who knows how to treat a lady. Given your verbal abuse on the situation I rather think you are very hurt right now-in which case your view on the world is a bit tainted-or you aren't such a nice guy?
Maybe take a look at where and how you are attracting women. Perhaps use a different tactic and you might get a different woman. Please give us another chance, many of us are out there looking for a nice guy.
...............................
|
