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Why does she seem determined to make me feel bad about everything I say and do?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 September 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 17 September 2009)
A age 36-40, anonymous writes:

We've been friends for 10 years. The entire time, this gal always tries to debate everything with me. It seems like she tries to put me down on purpose. For example, she'll make comments about my hair and how I have a "big forehead."

When I was in school and complaining about a bad day,

my friend immediately made it about her and said "Well mine was so much worse than yours" and then proceeded to cut me off and talk about her day. There was a point when she was calling me every day and got mad if I didn't answer. She would ask my friends if I was mad at her, when in reality I was out of the house most of the day due to work and school. When I graduated, she seemed jealous. She is so jealous over everything! (I do not brag or anything, so it's not like that is the case.) I was seeing a guy and she just said, "Oh." and changed the topic to talk about herself!!

I'm really tired of this. Why does she get so mad at me if I am busy and can't call her? Why does she seem determined to make me feel bad about everything I say and do? Why?

View related questions: jealous

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2009):

I had a friend like this, whom I eventually gave up.

This girl has a critical nature. To criticize you all the time makes her appear insecure. Does she criticize you only or other people as well? She also wants to consume your time and be your first priority. She has a pity-me attitude: my day was worse. It sounds nerve plucking.

IF you want to continue the friendship, confront her. Tell you have a problem with her putting you down and that you do not want to be put in that position. Let her know what bothers you and what must change. She will probably sulk. Old habits die hard though!

I personally would wipe her off my list of friends. What is she adding to your friendship and enjoyment of life?

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