A
male
age
51-59,
*lbertshurley
writes:I dated a woman for 7 months, she was in her early 40s and I'm mid 30s. When we first started daring she thought it was okay to introduce me to her ex-boyfriends (THREE of them). At first I thought it was fine, I don't have a problem meeting the guy(s) but why introduce me to all 3 at various times? By the way these were planned meeting for dinner, coffee and a concert with each of the ex-boyfriends and not just random meetings.This gets a bit stranger. We broke up earlier in the year and now she just met someone and is dating him. Last week she attempted to arrange a meeting where I would get to meet the new boyfriend. So now I am thinking why is she doing this? Is she trying to compare each boyfriend to the new one? Or does she want to see how each one reacts? I find this extremely odd and so do my numerous friends. I think she does this to all of her ex and new boyfriends.Can someone she some light on this? Also what would be a tactful way of saying I do not approve of this type of a meeting? Both of us will be at a mutual friend's birthday party soon and I am sure she'll bring her new boyfriend along. Should I give her ego a boost (that she obviously needs) and meet the new guy at the party?thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2007): Hi,
she is in her early 40's and still playing the field huh? Still trying on the different coats as it were. Mate, she is seriously insecure, its like the girls at school who used to pash everyone at parties - she's just 30 years down the track and never grown up.
If I was you I would not have a bar of it, she is using you for her vanity; here look at my ex boyfriend, and here is my new boyfriend LOOK AT ME!!!.It's all rather pathetic.
Just be glad you got out of there in time.
Funnily enough I went to a birthday party of a friend of my wife's, and there were only 10 people there , apart from me and my wife, the rest were all guys - all of them were ex boyfriends of my wife's friend!! It was weird! After a few drinks everyone went for a swim in the apartment pool and the current boyfriend was the only one to wear speedos! - as my wife pointed out he doesnt want to leave any questions over the size of his equipment. There were some sad looking faces around that pool once everyone cottoned on what he was packing. Talk about rubbing it in. Needless to say at the next party, the ex boyfriends didnt turn up . Though our Jon Holmes lookalike did ( as an ex boyfriend this time ha! ) fortunately for her new boyfriend nobody took up his suggestion for another swim - though my wife tettered, she wanted another look - ha!.
My apologies if i have made light of your situation, i dont mean it , but this story did happen and it is so similar to yours i thought I would never see anything like it again. Until I read your story!
A
male
reader, albertshurley +, writes (10 October 2007):
albertshurley is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe reason why we broke up is that she said she wanted to experience other men out there, she said that is one of her "quirks", she made the analogy of shopping for a coat and she just wants to try few of them before settling on one she likes. Oddly enough she told me I was the best bf she ever had and wrote a lengthy email describing in detail how great I was. Of course she only did it to soften the breakup, I'm not stupid. I'm just glad it is over but this situation is bringing back memories that I don't need right now. One thing that I am considering is approaching her few days before the party to ask why she deems it necessary to introduce her new BF to the last 2-3 ex-boyfriends outside of social functions or incidental meetings. Maybe that will get her to realize this is wrong. I've certainly never done it to any of my ex GFs nor have any of my friends done it to theirs.
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (9 October 2007):
 Well if you go to the party and you know she's bringing her new beau, you'll have no way to avoid being introduced to him. Not gracefully anyhow. I think her behavior is extremely odd. At first when I read your post, I thought it was just a chance meeting, you're out together and you just happen to bump into one of her old b/f's so she introduces you. That would be fairly normal and she would probably enjoy introducing her much younger b/f to her ex so she could shove it in his face. But actually arranging a lunch date? Now that is weird! I'd pass on the party altogether if you possibly can, or like one reader said, bring your own date so at least the playing field is even. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): THat is nuts! I am a woman and that is just beyond me. I think she has some self esteem issues. Perhaps why you broke up would be relevant to this.? Maybe she is one of those women who seek out men better than her last one so she can compare them and let the ones she left "know she is doing better". With a trail of ex's it would depend on why your realtionship ended. THat is strange behavior you can never have too many friends. But that is odd.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): No.... Why feed her ego... Why don't you just bring a girlfriend along, and see her reaction, this should be priceless...Have a camera ready
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