A
female
age
51-59,
*amla
writes:My ex broke up with me 5 months ago, everything was fine, we had been together for 3 years and i asked for commitment. He told me he was sorry but he couldn't offer it to me and as he new i wanted a future with him he had been backing off for the last 3 months. i never saw this coming and cannot understand how he could just walk away because of commitment fear. He did say tho that his love had changed and he wanted to do his own thing more, he needed to see me less. we are both 41 so not young. How can i accept this is over when i feel i don't understand the reasons behind it?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (10 October 2007):
You need to size up a guy's intentions within 6 months. Always move on when the vibes aren't right.
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (9 October 2007):
 I think he left for reasons other than just a committment fear. People who are afraid of getting married will generally just say 'no' to the marriage part but still remain in the relationship -- that is unless you've issued an ultimatum and backed him into a corner. I also suspect there have been signs that he did not feel the same about you in general, not just about the committment thing. I think he probably met someone else and this is the real reason he did an about face. I don't know how the rest of your relationship has been going for these past 3 yrs. so it's really hard to say for sure. And he is probably not going to tell you the truth (if that is the reason) because he knows you'll be devasted. I'm sorry. I know this must be horrible for you to wonder about....
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