A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my girl friend never shows any inetrest in sex , i can leave mentioning sex for months.. she dosent say a word. Then once in a while she will say we can have sex tonight but then drops her plans with out saying a word! She never gives me a reason.. (feeling sick or other). I cant understand why she doesnt chat with me about if she still wants to or not? i have left any discussion on why she hasnt acted on what she said foe weeks at a end, but still no explanation why. i dont mind not having the sex, but dont like being droped with out being told why, is there any one that can help me understand this? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2013): I don't exactly get what you need to understand, she doesn't want to have sex with you and you say you don't mind so there's no issue.When she says you're going to have sex, just ignore her because you know she doesn't mean it. Her actions speak louder than any words she can speak OP, she quite simply just doesn't want sex with you, so if she says you're going to later just ignore her because she's lying.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (19 March 2013):
 Is your gf about your age? How long have you been together? How is everything else in the relationship?
You say you can go without sex, your issue is the promise of sex (and the anticipation) and then the disappointment when she ‘changes her mind”
I can tell you that I often will want sex early in the day and I will “promise” my hubby. But by the time he gets around to it, I’m tired and no longer in the mood… it’s not a bait and switch and it’s not a promise made meant to be broken… I just don’t like sex at bedtime. He does not like it in the mornings or at dinner time so while our drives may be equal our timing is off. Perhaps that’s the case here?
If you want to find out why it happens and she won’t talk about it, there may be something she finds distasteful or embarrassing.
Couples counseling is to learn how to communicate with each other.. maybe a bit of counseling will help.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (19 March 2013):
 Hi
What keeps you two together?
Does she use sex as a reward or to get something?
It's hard to answer because you *say* you don't mind going without and she doesn't want sex either, so am guessing you actually do mind going without
She probably doesn't explain why she changes her mind cos you never ask or say 'enoughs enough, your dumped'
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (19 March 2013):
Yes, she can help you understand this.
It sounds to me like you should file this one under 'incompatible' and move on with your life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2013):
She probably offers sex when she wants something,or when you seem to be withdrawing from the relationship.When she has what she wants she no longer needs to dangle the carrot and withdraws.
If your happy to continue in this relationship,with no physical contact,I have to ask what you or she get out of it,what keeps you together?
Try talking again and ask her
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2013): Sounds like theres more talking than action goin on. Do you come on to her, kiss her? Touch her, make her feel special and loved- not like you are just in for the sex? Is there any type of intimacy going on? Making out, ect?? Its hard for me to believe you would be making out and the out of no where she pushes you away without saying anything. So do you have physical intimate contact?
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