A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, just wondering if you could give me a little bit of advice... I feel a bit silly but hey..My boyfriend and I have a mutual friend, I would say that this mutual friend tells me more personal stuff than he would tell my boyfriend, however he has known my boyfriend since they were kids.My boyfriend, my friends and sometimes my family will comment on how much of an idiot this mutual friend can be, lets call him 'b'...I get immensely hurt by these comments, because I know that 'b' is a good guy, he puts on this front of being a typical lad, he plays girls and is pretty popular, but there's a nice side to him, a side he doesn't show, and he has always treated me with the upmost respect, until recently...I think that all the popularity is getting to his head and the fact he has got girls around him boosting his ego doesn't help, he is forgetting his true friends, maybe I'm being silly? Am I?... I feel like I've lost a good friend and when people are making comments about him it hurts me... I've spoken to him but I get answers from the fake 'b' and his understanding personality is fadingggg... I do not fancy this guy or anything but I really do care for him, for me he's like another member of my family, a very good friend... but what shall I do? Shall I shut up and let him be and hopefully he will realise? or shall I shun him out and ignore him for a while in the hope that he'll become himself again.. :S..?He's just turning into an arse and I would hate to agree with my boyfriend and friends/family. The way he speaks and acts is like it's not him, and it doesn't help when my brothers (who through me.. met 'b' recently) and are there egging him on to be mr player of the year..Any advice would be greatclarissa x
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008): Hi Hunny
There is nothing worse than a bigheaded fella posing around as if he is action man of the month!!!!Whooooo! wot a turn off...If this guy is a good friend of yours then tell him the truth, Tell him how you see him now and how you used to see him, Let him no the good kind person you no thats inside and you dont like the image he has now, As people are saying nasty things and it hurts you because he is your friend and you no the real him....He has had an ego boost and its gone right to his head..You may be able to get through to him hunny but if you cant then this is a learning experience he will have to go through and hopefully learn from it sooner rather than later...But at least you tryed and told the truth, Its then up to him if he takes it on bourd and thinks about it or carrys on the same sweetheart...Goodluck WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (12 March 2008):
Hmm.
People will go through phases and some times you have to leave them to it.
If you are there telling him he has changed, and you don't like it, you will become a nagging annoyance with no influence.
If you simply back away then one day he will miss you and come back when he notices all his real friends have gone.
The other possibility is that he's distancing himself from you. He let himself out to you, got close but knows FULL WELL that you are totally forbidden fruit. So he is dealing with it how young stupid men do - self destructive spirals involving drink and girls.
The fact that you are always standing up for him may also cause problems in your own relationship.
Back off, let him get on with it, and he will come back when he is ready. You can however tell your brothers to calm down a bit.
Good Luck x
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