A
female
age
30-35,
*evilsangel117790
writes:Im 20 and so is my (ex)boyfriend. My boyfriend of nearly 3 years broke up with me a month ago. To be honest, I dont know why. We had lots of arguments and fell out but we would always get back together again because we love each other so much. This time when he dumped me, he was with his friends and he has a lot of pride. So I just feel like they egged him to do it. I emailed him to say goodnight and he replied back saying that he loved me more than anything but I stress him out. The other thing though was that he said that as he wrote the email he was crying (This is a guy who NEVER cries. In the 3 years Ive known him, hes only cried when his grandad died and when i got raped) and all he wanted to make him feel better was me. He wrote "I love you" 6 times in the email.This is the most confusing thing of all. He loves me but he doesnt want me back. A week before he did break up with me, we were in bed and he whispered to me "I dont know why I keep breaking up with you. I promise I never will again". I dont understand how that works.He has so much pride so I think a lot of it is to do with that. The fact that he wants to look tough infront of his mates.I want to get him back but it seems less and less likely that we will the longer I wait. I love him so much. Please help me by either telling me how to get him back or why he did this to me. Thankyou
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female
reader, fatema ahmed  +, writes (11 November 2010):
hey listen! at this age its quite a common problem! like most of the teenagers go through this! girl see everyone has there own problem which we can't exactly realize because we don't live there life! personally i belive if you are with someone you should be giving them more and more peace bcz then see they would no matter who bad the world is towards you would be the only persom who won't stress them try to avoid giving him tensions and all! see no matter how much stone hearted we show we are but in our hearts we all are emotionals and crave for love and care!! your x wants to show to his boys that he is strong and can take you over but in his hearts he cares for you a lot! first you should show him that you love and care for him A LOT and then when you talk the next time try to make him understand that u would be the one who would stay with him for long then his own friends try to make him feel special from your side amd don't give him tension i feel he loves but he doesn't know what to do as his mates pump him up when they see him tense!!=)
A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (19 July 2010):
 Regardless, I still think you're better off apart. Get past the "I miss you so much" phase and you'll know what I mean.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2010): He likes the idea of being in love with you ,he dosent love you. You don't treat a lover like that and keep them in denial perhaps his way of controll your obv there for his convnience. You'll lurn the hard way your young bet if u asked yyour mother shed tell you but u wouldn't listen. He isn't mr right don't allow your self to be used hun xx
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 July 2010):
 Because he is a 20 years old male. At hise age one can at the same time lovea girl ( or think to love her ) and be fascinated by freedom, lack of responsibility and lack of committment. Hanging out with guys, checking out the other girls, not having to respond to anybody or keeping appointments, not having to be on his best behaviour....
Many times this sensation of freedom and "adventure" is just psychological and he'll just end up having a few beers at the pub with the same old mates, but still it's there.
I think it's rather revealing when you say that you suspect his friends of having egged him on. Quite possible because at his age many guys are afraid of being thought of as "pussywhipped " And also that he says you stress him out. Now, I am a woman and I know you don't stress him out, you probably just want him to show up in time , to call you or text you back when he says he will, to remember plans and promises...very normal stuff . And yet..
A large breathing space is tempting also for a loving guy.
Anyway- love is not enough, as strange as it sounds, to keep two people togwther, and on/off relationships never work eventually. It's wiser to move on.
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female
reader, Devilsangel117790 +, writes (19 July 2010):
Devilsangel117790 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe never really broke up properly until now. We fell out but we never officially broken up before.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2010): there is a reason that you guys keep breaking up. It sounds like you are just not ment to be together. Stop making up excuses for why you are breaking up and just let it be and move on. Look for a new guy that is boring and a bit of a dork. This kind of guy will end up having a good job and he will be a good dad. Don't go for the exciting drama guy they will just give you to much stress in the end. There is no such thing a true love after years of being together in a relationship compatibility and stibility are what you need.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (19 July 2010):
Maybe he finally realized that if you are constantly making up/breaking up, this isn't a relationship that is going anywhere. It is possible to love someone enough to realize that you aren't the best person for them, or that your relationship just doesn't work. Part of me still loves many of my ex girlfriends, but that doesn't mean we were good together.
My advice is to let the relationship go. It will hurt, but will be better in the long run. Constantly making up/breaking up is a ton of stress. Usually the thing that caused the break doesn't get fixed, and it causes it again and again.
Time to move on. He obviously doesn't know what he wants. He's not that strong a person if he lets what his friends think influence his relationship with you. Sending an email like that after breaking things off screams manipulation and game playing to me. Since I hate those types of games, you can see where my advice is coming from.
FWIW, every time I've had a "make up/break up" relationship, it always ends. Since my first one of these rollercoaster rides, I made a rule to never date someone more than once. I don't play that game anymore. Have I broken my rule? Yup. Has it ever worked out? Nope.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (19 July 2010):
He's playing you. You act as the safety net for his ego. Every time that he feels low, or something backfires, you're there for him so he can say that he loves you, knowing you'll believe it and listen. That, in turn, makes him feel better. The time has come for you to move on from this guy.
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