A
female
age
41-50,
*lcortez1976
writes:Why is it that he constantly thinks I have something to hide or that I'm not telling the whole truth...then later I find out lil details he's left out and when I point it out; I'm over-reacting??? Or how everytime I just want to vent, he can never just listen...It always turns into: "I must have done something wrong in order for me to feel the way I feel" and so i end up feeling like I can't talk to him because no matter the situation it ALWAYS turns into him pointing fingers @ me or blaming me and when he asks me a question he says i'm lying and doesn't believe me but when I ask him something...I'm just supposed to know he's telling the truth???? I've caught him in more lies and leaving info out more and more than I would even of thought of...I say its either he's hiding or doing something to think I'm that way cuz only a person who cheats thinks thier spouse is cheating???? I feel like we get no where and our discussions turn into a huge cirlce...we end up in the same spot and just sorta ignoring it and when i think we're okay and he's over it....HE BRINGS IT UP again...in my opinion a person may never forget but if you forgive then just drop it, get over it, or do something to solve the problem so it can't be brought up again... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (11 October 2009):
He's doing it because he can. It's easy for him to treat you badly because he knows you are weak and will put up with it. Then he gets to be right all the time and you feel so bad that you'll be nice to him to try and win his "forgiveness."
The way to stop this is to stop being weak.
Rather than coming on to a problem page having a rant, turn around and tell him it's not good enough and you are leaving.
I very much doubt you will leave, but at some point you'll realise that you've waisted years on him and you could have been MUCH happier with a decent guy.
Hopefully you'll work it out before you have kids with this idiot.
Good Luck!! xx
A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (11 October 2009):
 Give yourself a break and get free of this relationship. Trust is the basis for all long-term partnerships. Trying to make this work will always mean you are playing catchup in his game. It's time to look elsewhere.
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