A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:HiMy husband ignored our anniversary it was our tenth. two years ago i took him back after cheating on me with a teenager while i was pregnant. you would think he could do something. we have no money but i made a card got dressed up and made a nice dinner. he said he didnt forget just had no money. it cost nothing to say something nice or write something. is it worth it (our marriage) maybe i shouldn't have taken him back He does treat me better than he used to day to day.or am i over the top being upset n angrywhat do you think
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2009): Yes postpartum depression could be a part of your feeling especially vulnerable now to nuances in the relationship, especially as he has cheated on you once. This may be more pronounced if you have suffered this type of depression before. Furthermore, you are right to feel the way you do. You gave birth to his four children and he cheated on you as your reward. It's no wonder you feel the slightest loss of affection when he doesn't respond adequately when it's your Anniversary. I say keep him on his toes because he may want to cheat again, tell him you want him to remember your important dates and to show you affection and love, and especially be clear with him about your needs and how you want him to respond to them. This is very important. Tell him what you want and let him tell you what he wants from you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI hope I'm not just being over the top but I would have liked him to say he was glad I'd taken him back and that he loved me. I have four children with him and could never imagine him cheating before or us not being together. Now I look into every thing.
I don't want money of gifts just respect and love. Last anniversary he made me feel special but the time before (just after 6mths of cheating) he ignored it. Before that I always got a card or present.
Could I be deluding myself to think he's back for me and not just the security and his children.
Maybe I am hormonal and it is not a big deal? I just gave birth to his daughter a few weeks ago.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2009): That's the sort of clueless behaviour that give us all a bad name. And given his record, he ought to be 10x more vigilant in remembering such occasions.
Your call, of course, as to whether this is a last straw. It's very clear by now that you're not married to a sensitive guy.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2009): I feel for you. You've been with him ten years and have tolerated something that other couples would not and yet he takes you for granted, is insensitive to your needs and then lies about not recognizing the special day especially when you made something special for him.
I think that tolerating him because he has been BETTER is a poor excuse to be with him. I would find someone better because what you've got is a poor excuse of a husband.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2009): i think you have a right to be angry about it of course. But i think some guys just don't like expressing that sort of stuff? I'm not sure. As long as he is treating you good in the long run and you are happy with him, then i see no reason to regret getting back together. Did he react well on the previous anniversary? maybe he had things on his mind.
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