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Why does he keep saying "you can do better"?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Faded love, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 June 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 3 July 2010)
A female Canada age , *at1565 writes:

Hi Everyone

Please help if you can!!! I have no close guy friends to ask. What does a guy mean when he keeps saying "you can do better"?? Other than the obvious what is he really saying?

We have been in a relationship for almost 5 years and he frequently says that. I really bothers me but when I ask him what he means, he just repeats it. It drives me carzy and he doesn't like to talk about "feelings" and warm and fuzzy stuff. He is separated from his wife, with 2 kids but has never, and not likely will ever be divorced from her. I am feeling like he is trying to tell me to get lost yet he says he loves me, I am his "soulmate" and he wishes he met me a long time ago. Lately I feel we are drifting apart.

Please help me understand because he won't. If any guys can help with the translation PLEASE enlighten me. We all say one thing that actually means something else!!!!!!!!!!!!

Any opinions would be very, very much appreciated.

View related questions: divorce

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A female reader, kat1565 Canada +, writes (3 July 2010):

kat1565 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you so much everyone!!! Your answers are whatI needed to hear! My family told me the same thing but I needed to hear that from people who are not emotionally invested in the situation. Best wishes to you all in wherever your lives take you! Thank you so very very much for your help!!

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (28 June 2010):

It means what he says. You can do better.

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A female reader, cindy 15 United Kingdom +, writes (28 June 2010):

cindy 15 agony auntyou can do better as a woman myself that means that you should go with another guy that loves you cause i dont any more. to be honest what id do in your shoes is take his advice and take charge of your life and walk out and find a guy who actually deserves you feelings

good luck hope every thing works out

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010):

What this mean is that he knows he doesn't deserve you. He probably is sleeping with other women, or even with his wife. There is no other reason for not divorcing his ex wife after two years, financial reasons are not an excuse, it doesn't take that much money to file for divorce and get the job done, usually they are fighting over stupid details because there is unfinished emotional business between them.

I don't understand why you don't take his honest self assessment and do better. Why are you settling for a man who for all practical purposes is married, legally.

That makes him unavialable for you.

It really is up to you to take charge and get out.

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A male reader, The Realist Canada +, writes (28 June 2010):

The Realist agony auntI'm thinking that it means that he wants you to feel sorry for him and give him sympahty by staying with him. It also makes you more likely to give in to his suggestions because you feel bad for him. It's a really dirty trick. Or he wants you to end it because he doesn't have the guts to and he will get way more sympathy from other if he is the one being dumped.

Either he needs to express his true feeling or man up a realize that you are with him because you want to be and you don't want anyone else.

Hope this helps you out.

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