| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Why do so many people believe in the no contact rule after a bad relationship? Or if they had just gotten their hearts broken? Why shouldn't we contact them? And if we were to contact them.. would that be such a bad thing? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (17 September 2008):
Because the girl always wants to be friends and takes them out shopping and is all chirpy, and the guy follows them round desperately hoping that they will get back together, because, hey! she keeps calling him and being nice! So she must still care about him.
(Some times the roles are reversed and it's the guy trying to be cool and the girl following him round.)
Then the dumper starts talking about the new guy / girl they are seeing and the dumped one starts crying.
You need time apart to get over feelings and not lead the other person on.
Good Luck!! xx
A
male
reader, Ed1337 +, writes (17 September 2008):
 If someone has just had their heart broken, then no contact with that person will speed up the healing. If you keep bumping into the person who broke your heart, then all those feelings will come flooding back each time.
If you have just broken someones heart and your wondering why they won't talk to you anymore, its not because they hate you, its just something they need to do to get over you and move on in their life.
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A
female
reader, sappygirl  +, writes (17 September 2008):
 The no contact rule basically means just that.
Do not call them
Do not email
Do not text/msg
Do not do drive bys their house to get a glimpse of them
This is to speed up the process of healing. It doesn't matter if you were the dumper or dumpee. Breakups are hard and if you remain in contact it will prolong the process and make it difficult for both parties to move on with their lives. This way you don't have to know if he's already got a new girlfriend which could cause more pain or heartache. The longer he is out of your life, you will slowly forget about him, then one day you wake up and realize that you've healed, and you'll be A Okay.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2008): Contact leads to getting back together. The problem is that once you've been romantic, it doesn't really work to try to back it down to just friends. You just can't spend an evening out with the guy and expect not to want to jump onto him again by the end of the night.
Almost everyone has to learn this the hard way.
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A
female
reader, CNKlives +, writes (17 September 2008):
I am friends with many of my ex's, I have a really good ability to let go of the past though..I think this just depends on the person..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2008): What's a 'no contact rule'? Never heard of that one. Is it anything like the mythical '3 week rule' after breaking up before you start dating again?
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