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Why do people call me ugly????

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 August 2007) 34 Answers - (Newest, 11 December 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 22-25, anonymous writes:

People always call me ugly every single day,either that or they ignore me or are really nasty to me.I personally don't think I am ugly(I don't think I'm beautiful but I would definatly say I am attractive at the least) but no one else seems to think this.I dress nicely,have nice hair,and I think a fairly pretty face.I am very shy however but I still am a nice person so I don't think this gives anyone the right to say I'm ugly.Even my best friend says I'm ugly and is always laughing about my appearence.I have never had a date and I never get compliments.Even though some of my friends are quite ugly they still get a load of compliments and they have dates.I realise that the fact I am shy may be a reason I don't get dates but why do people call me ugly?

View related questions: best friend, shy

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2012):

I know I'm a little late for this post, but I just had the same experience online. I'm on this dating site (which I have mostly friends on there, not really looking for a date) and I have been on there for awhile. There were these 3 people (2 guys and 1 girl) who just hated me for no reason. Well, I'm of mixed race, and 1 of the guys was black (along with the girl) and the other guy was Caucasian. Now, the black guy called me racist names because of my mixed heritage, and then the girl jumped in and called me a "racist" though I wasn't the one shouting the racist slurs. So then, the 3rd guy jumps and and all 3 of them called me ugly. But, with the third guy that jumped in, how could he call me ugly when in his profile picture, he's wearing glasses? Tells me that he's really the ugly one if he's ashamed to show his face to anybody. So I had battled it out with the 3 of those idiots and then my friends on that site decided to get in on it. None of the 3 of them are even close to being supermodels, but I get dates all the time.

So I wondered why they would call me ugly when I've never said anything or done anything to any of them? I believe it's jealousy because I am a pretty popular person on that site, and it is a predominately hetero site (yes I am gay) and that was thrown in my face as well. Yeah, I admit, it was nerve racking for those 3 trolls who don't know me from a can of paint to call me ugly (I was returning the favor back to them). So for me, that was nothing but jealousy and they wanted to be liked like I am. Never worry about what people think of you-the ones who are usually shouting "ugly" at somebody usually is the ugly ones! Keep your chin up and tell those idiots who say that to get a life.

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A female reader, JKaiMarie86 Philippines +, writes (27 July 2011):

I just had the same situation. I really feel down. My self-esteem is VERY LOW now and I really feel bad.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2011):

Your best friend says your ugly? That is not a best friend!!! Speak to your friend alone, explain to her how unhappy and misserable people make you feel, if this friend is anything of a friend they'l at least listen and hear what you are saying. Then ask how she would feel if her one and trusting best friend calls her ugly, how would she feel then?

People can be cruel. I take it your still in school because when your out of school you'l see how things are so different and that you will be treated with alot more respect. I bet half of those name callers are'nt what you class as good looking and people who say to you 'just ignore them' are really not of anyhelp.

I hope it eases and you can at least get this friend of yours to understand how you must be feeling? If not find new friends, join clubs, or swimming or acivity groups.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2011):

My bestfriend also called me ugly the other day. She said my picture looked ugly in front of a group of friends. I was hurt but didn't show it. I get comments like that from some people. My parents also say im a pretty girl but I don't believe it, because of some of the comments I get. Guys have liked me, but not a lot. I just think I'm somewhat pretty i person. I'm totally not photogenic though. When I look in the mirror, I don't see an ugly person, only sometimes. When I look at a picture, I think that cannot be me. I always have these comments going in my head 24 hours a day for the past few years. I feel pretty 25% of the time. My friend that called me ugly, is not the prettiest girl in the world. I habe alow self esteem, and feel like I'll be alone forever. I'm very shy because of it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2011):

well trust me i have the same problem but dont worry we are not ugly the thing men seem to like is a girl with more energy and are not shy so let yourself your pretty and you realy dont need to be shy

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011):

I was often being called ugly,... I am a tall girl (probably taller than the rest of the guys in our small village)and have broad facial features,...I live in the Philippines for now, and yes, people tempt to call me either ugly or for the worse? They call me "bakla" or "drag queen" or what they meant is " a girl that looks like a guy" or basically "a guy trying to be a girl" which is much more hurtful for me because I'M A GIRL and they call me that,... so instead of taking it personally I just face it head on, give them my scary glance and walkaway,...and yes. Whenever I look into the mirror I know for myself that I am definitely not ugly, just like you,...my advise? Get around good people,...people who know you inside and out,...but if there are people who're already in your life who still treat you like this sort of crap, even if it's your bestfriend, well obviously, SHE'S NOT so stay away from her. God bless and be strong. (Even while I'm typing this, there are a couple of "critters" right next to me talking about me in, yes, in a not so nice way). And another thing,...as long as you're a good person, there's nothing to be shy about. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BE SHY ABOUT. LET YOUR LIGHT RADIATE EVEN INFRONT OF THESE MEAN PEOPLE. kudos:)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2011):

Who cares? If your bestfriend calls you ugly then you need a new friend, because truly he isn't a friend at all. Beauty is in the the eye of the beholder also so one girl could think you are hot and the other one think you are ugly. This world is also evil so that's why you need gods love. If you have somereason that you don't believe in God or you want to put your trust in God i reccomend that you go to www.godandscience.com. I know that the whole God and Jesus thing sounds kinda cheesey but trust me its a great expirience.

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A female reader, kelseyk96 United States +, writes (6 May 2011):

They want to bring you down. Don't take it personally. You are probably really pretty and some guy is out there waiting for you. I got called ugly today and didn't care because i know i'm not ugly. So don't let it bring you down because that will only show that your weak and you don't want it to be that way. Sorry people are so immature and give us girls a bad name. If i was with you and someone called you ugly they would need to look themselves in the mirror and call themselves ugly and see how it feels. Hope i helped.

Hope I helped you!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2010):

I wrote before about being picked on because of the color of my skin. People call me gross when I walk in a room and girl was talking to a friend that refused to use the computer next to me at school and was like you're so shallow you refuse to sit next to ugly people. So yeah I've been called ugly too many times; and it has hurt my self esteem. My mommy who deals with children like that knows I have low self esteem and if I had low self esteem before that only makes it worse. This guy was telling me why don't you go back to your country, no one wants you here, no one likes you. He called me ugly and it hurts my feelings, I DO want to move back to my country but my mom won't let me because this is an opportunity for my education that I should not let go. So it IS hard A LOT of the times. I've just taken to eating lunch by myself and trying to avoid group projects and experiments (which isn't easy and teachers don't seem to care is awkward for me).

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2010):

I think I understand what you're going through. I just recently moved to a knew country and I think I'm experiencing a bit of a culture shock. In this new country people are a bit racist. I am a dark brown skinned female and the black people here have a problem with dark brown skin (even the dark brown skinned ones). They would call even TEACHERS sh*t colored. They would call people charcoal and act as if kinky hair and dark skin is bad. Because I have dark skin I am labeled 'ugly'. There is this really good looking guy and people say he has a crush on me. So I heard these girls going oh he has a crush on the worse/most horrible person (insert my name), the other girl then chimes in I think she's ugly. Needless to say I got my feelings hurt. But that isn't enough for them a girl asks why don't you want to be friends with her (me) and the guys like cuz she's ugly. But the parade doesn't end here, no, there's more, people were making fun of me and another dark skinned girl, they were like, oh so and so was jokingly saying he's going to take (me) or (other girl) to prom, but like in a joking, as if, manner. Like these ugly tricks? The thing is these people aren't particularly attractive themselves, some aren't even 'light skinned'. Yet I still get picked on. Outside of school though I get called pretty, I get flirted with and all that stuff so maybe it's jealousy, maybe it's ignorance, self hate, projecting how they feel about themselves on me, insecuritty or maybe I'm ugly and other people tell me I'm pretty out of pity, maybe it's different tastes. Who knows. All I know is the black community needs HELP. (I STILL GO TO SCHOOL THERE-but I want an education-we'll see in a few years how things are going for them I guess). Don't worry keep being strong and pray.

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A female reader, msslynne United States +, writes (11 August 2010):

How do you respond to them? If you would not say to someone else the exact same thing, and I am guessing you would not-then others should not be getting away with saying it to you. That must hurt to hear people say that to you and I am sorry. You should look straight at them and say 'that is not funny or nice, it hurts my feelings and that is not okay with me, it shows your character and I would not say that to you'-and walk away, no matter what they say afterwards. If they want to apologize they will have to come after you to do so. I heard I was ugly a lot in highschool-funny, the same persons that said that then, really fall over themselves now in telling me how beautiful I am-this ugly duckling grew up quite well-and my only response now is 'thanks'! But I do not know still why they said it when I was younger, I never asked and I am happy in life-it does not matter anymore.

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A male reader, 61 hours India +, writes (19 July 2010):

hey look people do that to me too , i mean they always said that i was smart as young and now ugly and its strange only relatives tease me maybe jealous of me , my friends think me ok and i hav a respecct among them but one thing sure be bold if we are shy and dont respond angry people would always tease us , i m determined to attack if anyone call me bad again i mean it hurts

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2010):

One once said it doesnt matter what u look like it matters who u r doesnt depend on what people say jus kno that the people that talk about u alwayz gonna hate on u in the end jus kno that looks r not everything if u kno that no one should care what u look like when u make it big and successful so much people gonna talk about u in the good way and that mostly leads up 2 ur problems

P.S. Looks dont Matter to certain people u jus gotta find the right person to hang with

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2010):

it's not only the look that makes people ugly; it's also their personality. i don't think i'm ugly either, well people don't say i'm ugly anyways, but boys don't like me because i'm shy and my voice sounds weird so it's kinda like your situation. don't think of what other people think of you. ignore them and tell them to get a life and stop wasting time saying trash about u.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2010):

people also say the same me about me my best friends dont but i feel like if they are lying my family said im beautiful but i think im not when people say im pretty i think they only say that because they feel bad .when they say im ugly i just star t laughing so the other person wont say im felling bad and im about to cry im sorry i didn't answer your question i just wanted to say how i felt

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010):

I have the same problem at school. I do not think i am ugly and people at school still call me that. Most of my friends are not that attractive but they only pick on me. I dont know if their jealous or they do it because i have a low self of steem. Anyways i do not believe in the word "ugly" it depends on what you look for in a girl/guy.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2009):

hi! i've been experiencing the same thing you have right now, only mine is even worse than your situation. If being called ugly is that bad enough, they even call me "bakla" or in Filipino language it's like "a girl who looks like a guy". Not only some of my friends(who are not my friends anymore) but also the kids in our neighborhood. Here's the thing about your situation. Yes, maybe you're just shy and the people who call you ugly are AFRAID THAT SOMEDAY, WHEN YOU FIX YOURSELF UP MORE (KIND OF LIKE A MAKEOVER, JUST A LITTLE BIT, SINCE YOU SAID THAT YOU'RE NOT UGLY AS THEY THINK, WHICH IS TRUE COZ I DON'T BELIEVE IN THE WORD 'UGLY') AND BUILD MORE SELF-CONFIDENCE, YOU MIGHT EVEN GET AHEAD OF THEM! And also, they're holding a mirror in case they didn't notice. So in my case, I tried to fix myself up a little like a bit of a makeover AND build more self-confidence by joining empowerment groups and good organizations, in time, they saw the 'true beauty' I possess not only the outside, but mostly from the inside, aswell. My friends found out how wrong they were and I think they're just too cool to admit it, but they sometimes glance at me like they wanted to talk to me or something, but just ignore them along the way (i know it sounds a little cruel, but it's kinda like a sweet revenge but i'll still talk to them someday).Here, I hope this'll work! Remember, makeover and self-confidence.Thanks!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2009):

People can be so cruel- don't listen to them! It's hard, but you must focus on your own life. Do what makes you happy - find your passion in life.

There's a Chinese quote that says, "Gold and jade on the outside, but rotten cotton on the inside."

So these so called beautiful people may appear to be attractive, but they have no personality - nothing on the inside! Your friends are probably giving you a hard time and you are probably gorgeous, but it still hurts when people say these things.

Just remember that looks are not everything. Focus on your own life and look at your strengths - are you helpful? kind or caring? funny?

When I was graduating from college and waiting to line up, there was another girl in our line who was the stereotypical "blond bombshell." But she just stood there talking to her one friend. Meanwhile, another girl in line, had a whole group around her because she was so warm and funny. She was not as attractive as the blond, but it was her personality that was attractive. She made everyone feel special by looking at them as she spoke, told jokes, and basically made our wait time less painful. (She had a boyfriend too.)

So try not to fret on what others say - beauty is only skin deep. You sound like a beautiful and caring person, so remember to hold your head up high and do not let anyone bring you down!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2009):

know it happens to me too, i thought i was the only one . the bell ringed and i was walking by this guy and he said ewwww...i was just minding my business. people wonder im shy and thats the reason. i try to stay as invisble as i can and people still talk about me. it made feel really bad every day its something new. i was feeling good untill i got back to school . but you just have to hold your head up high and avoid the compliments. stay strong and highschool is a small community and its not the real world . those people do anything to be popular or date anybody.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2009):

Call them ugly back!

That 'best friend' of yours sounds truly horrible! Why not get a new best friend who doesnt treat you so bad? :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008):

girl those people are hating on you. you need to show them confidence , confidence , and confidence. Don't ask your friends for advise cause if their laughing at you , sourly there not your friends and probably are jealous. don't be so shy or that nice , always love yourself the most and then the others,

good luck ! : )

p.s and they call u ugly because it only makes them fell better , you know....people .. that's why .. so stop being shy and don't be afraid to stand up for yourself...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008):

i am going through that same stage. Listen to me those people are jealous because you are probably pretty and it bothers them because they are not as attractive as you. Ignore them and use your beauty to keep them jealous because they deserve it for being so mean. Remember don't worry its is better to be called ugly because then you will know its because they wish they were you. Hope this helps. GOOD LUCK :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2007):

I was the ugly asian kid, now im first to have a gf lasting 9 months since grade 7... LOL.... I still find myself ugly... O_O but hey! They are just probably jealous because you grab all the attention... PEACE OUT!!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2007):

Hey

i think u must be really pretty! The reason ppl say ur ugly is because they wish they were u instead. All girls wish they were each other or look like another person or actor. Dont listen 2 wat anyone says because u no that u are pretty and they all do to just dont worry about it you just have 2 forget these things sometimes.

Good luck!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2007):

Hey

i think u must be really pretty! The reason ppl say ur ugly is because they wish they were u instead. All girls wish they were each other or look like another person or actor. Dont listen 2 wat anyone says because u no that u are pretty and they all do to just dont worry about it you just have 2 forget these things sometimes.

Good luck!!

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A female reader, love-him United Kingdom +, writes (27 August 2007):

love-him agony auntbabe.. ur best friend, should not be your friend.. she/he is treating you like rubbish.. ignore what people say.. you dont need to listen to them at all.. just ignore them and keep your head down..they will get bored.. you will find someone who wants to be your boyfriend.. dont worry.. mail me if you would like to talk.. and always remember we are all different .. x x x x

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A female reader, minimouse Albania +, writes (27 August 2007):

minimouse agony aunthi that girl wich you call her a best friend is just jelaous for you she is not a friend and don't trust her. abaut the dates with boys dont' be shy belive in your self and you will see.

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A male reader, duce00 United States +, writes (27 August 2007):

duce00 agony auntI think ugly is a better description for peoples behavior than theyre appearance. In this case its the people around you that are ugly. Trust me in time your beauty will shine through. The school years are usually difficult though. I was a goofy, un-confident, pimply kid growing up. I remember one time being called pie face by this really beautiful girl who happened to be dating my friend. It really killed me.

So here I am 20 years later. That girl got pregnant right out of high school and weighs like 300 lbs now. My "friend" was last known to be living on some weirdo commune in Oregon. Here I am happy, healthy and looking pretty good for a 37 year old father. I even turn heads occasionally :)

The moral of the story is that the inside of a person will allways overpower the outside of that person.

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A female reader, Geminibabe2013 United States +, writes (27 August 2007):

ok first off im am sure you are not ugly. Im 13 and i get that alot.the truth is there probably just jealouse of wat a pretty girl you are and are intimidated by it.

honestly people that have time to make fun of other people obviously have no life at all. and if ur friends call you ugly too,that certainly tells me that they arent much of friends at all. i hope i have atleast helped a little. if not im sorry. just remember that your beautiful inside in out!

-Geminibabe2013

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A male reader, AndyL Brazil +, writes (27 August 2007):

AndyL agony auntMy friend, let me tell you: don't hear things like this...

And don't say that "People always call..." It's not "people", but some very superficial people (maybe few). See: You're a teenage, so you'll grow and will be changed too. When i was a teen, I used to think like that, but now I just can't remember those days and I'm very happy in my life and with my beauty. Things will be changed for you as soon as you can't imagine, believe in me! God bless you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2007):

So people say you're ugly, has it always been like this? Does anybody in your family say these things to you?? Your friend says it, maybe you have to accept that only your eyes can see the beauty for now and 1 day so will your prince, when he comes along, hang on in there as there is someone for everyone in this world.

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A female reader, cassandra_096 United States +, writes (27 August 2007):

Hi.

um i think no one is ugly and the people who say ur ugly might not think they are pretty.

And if your best friend thinks that your ugly and if she makes fun of you thats not a friend.

if you think you are pretty and not ugly, you shouldnt care wat other people say!!

i hope i help you.

xoxo

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A female reader, brooke5426 United Kingdom +, writes (26 August 2007):

brooke5426 agony auntfirst of all, with a best friend like that you will never need an enemy. get rid of her. and it sounds like the girls are jealous. if you really WERE ugly, your best friend would not say it because she would be embarrassing you and because its downright mean. i really think she is jealous and trying to bring you down. the same goes for the other girls who are saying this. as for the boyfriend thing, it is probably down to shyness but you will get over that in time. make the most of your good points you seem like a lovely girl and you are far too good to let ignorant shallow stupid people like that bring you down.

all the best.

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A male reader, jm81690 Canada +, writes (26 August 2007):

jm81690 agony auntWell, if you want to know if you're ugly you could always goto Hot or Not, they don't know you so you'll be judged 100% on looks.

Being shy is whats causing you problems, I never go for shy girls, I'm somewhat shy myself so I don't know why, but I just don't.

But being ugly or w/e doesn't really effect the dating scene, unless you're shallow, then you have to realize you need to do the best with what you got.

Most poeple don't find me too attractive, but I honestly couldn't care less. And I've had my fair share of dates, some of them with really descent looking girls, and believe it or not guys arn't half as shallow as they let on when they're with friends.

Hope it helped.

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