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male
,
anonymous
writes: why do i take so long to cum?I dont really masterbate that often maybe likeonce every two weeks and maybe now and thenonce a week but still....I had sex for the firsttime and i didnt cum.....I had sex another timewith the same girl but this time i lasted 3 hoursand she told me she had cummed like 15 times and i havnt even cummed once. I dont really feel anything while sex all i feel is the warmth of the vagina but other then that i dont really feel that much pleasure. I dont use condoms and i know shes not lose because when i did do it with her i made her bleed and left her in bed for a whole day because she couldnt move her legs at all....she skipped school that day.. I just want to know how i can make it more pleasureable for me because i had to masterbate myself in order to cum.PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2011): She didn't come 15 times. I was like you with my first girl. Now I am the opposite. You might have an issue with her on the emotional level, like maybe she's a liar or something fishy is going on, which makes you aloof and distant during sex, or maybe the chemistry is not there.
Try tender loving, kissing, stuff like that. And beware of liars, seriously.
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (13 October 2006):
 My guess is its not a physical issue at all, more a mental one. It sounds like you're not getting turned on very much. Just the physical sensation alone won't cause orgasm, you need to be highly aroused as well.
It may be that you're feeling nervous or anxious, perhaps its performance anxiety? Climaxing takes a certain amount of just 'letting go', if you're not allowing yourself to do this it can prevent you coming.
If you have masturbated to a lot of porn that could also be a cause. Porn is very visually stimulating: it can make getting a stimulated during 'real' sex more difficult. If thats the case I suggest staying away from porn for a while: the images in your mind do subside over time.
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A
female
reader, steemo  +, writes (13 October 2006):
 perhaps your just not into sex that much or your just not hitting the right spots on yourself i find my self to come i have to be in the right mood or sex does note at all to me
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