A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:If someone can help me, I'd be really grateful. For the past several months I've been preparing to start a new career and it's something I have my heart set on doing, but I feel overwhelmed by fears of failure. I have long desired to teach English abroad, I have a TEFL certificate and I've been searching for jobs. This is something I've wanted to do for a long time, and it would break my heart to fail in the profession. I've never really had a decent career. I've just had a series of crummy jobs, and I've failed so many times. For example, I substitute taught for a couple years and it was a disaster... the discipline problems in the schools were out of control, I got blamed for a lot of it and nearly got fired. I'm afraid that all this stuff sets a precedent. In spite of all this I still want to teach English abroad. My aunt, who is a highschool teacher, tells me to get out of teaching but I want to teach English abroad so badly. I was without direction for years and I longed to travel and see the world, and I care about teaching... a lot. I've sacrficed so much to be a qualified teacher.I'm afraid that I have something profoundly, irreversibly wrong with me. I'm not really sure what it is, but I'm afraid that I'll never be successful in a career and have a good future. I'm afraid that I'm just not capable enough to be successful in a profession. I'm afraid that I'm not smart enough or talented enough. You have to have qualities like intrapersonal intelligence to succeed as a teacher. I'm terrified that I won't be able to find a job, or that I won't be able to keep one because I have no self-confidence and don't feel capable, smart or talented enough. Sometimes I worry that I have this innate handicap when it comes to connecting with other people. There have been so many times in my life where I had a hard time making friends or when I walked into the room as a sub and the kids immediately started misbehaving or even being hostile to me.I'm worried that I'll never be able to have a career or be a successful person and I'm scared I'm going to fail. Being successful means so much to me and I don't know if this is just fear or if I'm really just not capable. Why do I keep having these feelings that I'm not smart enough or capable enough to have a career? I want to do this career so badly and I am so afraid of not being successful and so overwhelmed by feelings of inadequacy that I'm losing sleep over it. Am I destined to fail in life... what's wrong with me?Please don't judge me... I'm having a really rough time and I can't talk to anyone close to me. I don't want my friends or relatives to know how much I'm suffering because they would feel badly. Thanks if you can help. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (25 July 2010):
 perseverance.
Did you know that abraham lincoln failed many times before he became president?
All that is wrong with what you're doing is not having confidence in yourself. If you can dream you can achieve.
You must remember that EVERYONE is human, have feelings, fears, hopes, dreams, etc.
I'm going to school for animation and I fear that I might not make it. I'm taking out huge loans, getting a lot of help from the government (financial aid) and gave up a lot to follow my dreams. I might not make it, but its a risk I took and I'm trying.
So go for your dreams, go to Europe and teach English! Seriously, do it. Don't listen to people who are keeping you down. Your aunt says to not become a teacher, perhaps her experience as a teacher wasn't great, but that doesn't mean your experience will suck to.
Especially if you go abroad! how exciting! please believe in yourself and follow your dreams. you only live ONCE. SO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't let fear of failure stop you.
here is a good quote from little miss sunshine.
"As long as you try and give it your best shot you are a winner, a loser is someone who doesn't even try."
so try, and I bet that once you get started, your confidence level will sky rocket. Mine did when I started school, I took THREE years off after HS and didn't think I'd amount to anything, a year into college and my self confidence is much greater. I hope this happens to you as well.
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