A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my husband for about a year and a half now, I'm 26 and he's 31. I have to say I am not bad looking at all but I just feel so unsexy when he masturbates! We don't have sex as often as I'd like to and I always initiate. He never does! I wait for him to and then I find out he masturbates so I get so bummed and hurt! I wish he would invite me to watch him or join but he's so private. He's almost complete opposite from what he was early in our relationship. I try not to take it personal but I can't help it. He doesn't make me feel wanted at all and all my past relationships did (I know I shouldn't compare) but it just sucks because it happens to be my husband. So here I am getting jealous when he masturbates where I've never been the jealous type (I've actually been a swinger in past relationships). Any words on why I'm so jealous and how to get over it? It upsets me that that gets me mad since I love masturbating and watching porn- he doesn't even like watching porn with me. Maybe I'm too intimidating?? Should I back off a bit?
View related questions:
jealous, porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (7 November 2016):
A man does not have to be lazy in work or in play. But he can become lazy in going to his wife, and making the effort to get what he needs. Porn makes it easy to a wife of her ability to be a wife.
"A man should fulfill his duty as a husband, and a woman should fulfill her duty as a wife, and each should satisfy the other's needs. A wife is not the master of her own body, but her husband is; in the same way a husband is not the master of his own body, but his wife is. Do not deny yourselves to each other,"
So when one partner neglects to do their part...or... becomes the master of their body...it robs the other partner of their duty. How are you suppose to be a wife if he is not letting you, but doing it himself?
If men or woman are meant to satisfy themselves...why get into a relationship?
Read to him what I quoted above...and tell him..."I am the master of your body. It's pleasure belongs to me, not you."
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 November 2016):
 Off course you are jealous, you feel that you are losing out to his hand. He is taking the easy way out here. Sex requires effort. He can't be bothered with that when he can satisfy himself quickly with no hassle. He has gotten lazy in the marriage and doesn't seem to care about satisfying you.
Talk to him about it, tell him how badly it is effecting you. He needs to try harder.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks BrownWolf. I actually caught him last night after I showered. He said he wanted me so bad but thought I was masturbating in the shower and so he got turned on and had to rub one out? Then I told him I didn't masturbate and that I wanted him...then we ended up having sex. But if he really wanted me why wouldn't he just try?? I didn't want to ruin the moment so I didn't wanna push the issue. Maybe he was finding an excuse to masturbate? He's the most non-lazy, and such a great communicator it baffles me why we struggle in this area.
...............................
A
male
reader, BrownWolf +, writes (4 November 2016):
Ask him this...Honey, when you look between my legs, do you see a hand? I though I married a smart man...guess not. Because I thought you would know the difference between a hand and vagina."
Porn makes men lazy...rather than making the effort with their wives...fantasise...just sit there...very little effort...eyes and hand is all that is needed.
Next time you see him being stupid...go over...move his hand, and sit on it...heck it's already hard and ready to go. :) Then you put his hands on your hips and tell him "Your hand goes here, your penis goes in there, and your eyes on me. That is how a smart man does it."
You cannot change a man, but you can teach him.
...............................
|
