A
male
age
41-50,
*olarkite
writes:I really screwed up. I met this girl today at my party's caucus who was really cool, and I think we had some chemistry. I started at her confidently and walked right up to her and started talking. I usually don't display this kind of confidence, but when I am truly attracted to someone I can't help it sometimes.Anyway, we got split up at the line, but by chance we saw each other while she was leaving. I was still waiting to seal the envelopes. Then we exchanged some words, and I just felt afraid, instead of the confident person I was and did not ask her for her phone number or to meet up or something. I could not think of the words, so I just said see you later maybe at the next caucus, like a loser. After I ran out to see if she was still around, but she wasn't. It totally sucks. She even lived near by to me, and at the minimum would have made a cool friend. I always seem to shoot myself in the foot when things really start turning in my direction. In college I always had a set of rules to follow, like don't ask a girl out the first time you meet her. This worked back then because you'd likely see a person again and again on a college campus. this girl lives in my neighborhood, but I'm pretty sure I won't see her, and I'm also thinking she didn't appreciate that I wasn't more confident as she was leaving.I seem to be a perennial underdog, always fighting for my way up and once things come easy I throw it all away. Any advice for me? I feel pissed off, it's not often that I see someone that I am genuinely attracted to both in personality and appearance. I think this perennial underdog status has really affected my life negatively and prevented me from achieving success. I'm still making gains here and there, but there's been plenty of loss as well, and I continue to fight for what I want despite the setbacks I create for myself.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (10 February 2008):
 this isn't the end of the world. you know she goes to the caucases, maybe you actually WILL see her next time around. or, why don't you look her up in the phonebook? or, why don't you ask one of your colleagues if they knew her, where you could contact her, etc. you don't have to be defeatist, and act like you've lost before you've played the game.
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