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Why do guys like you more when you're taken ?

Tagged as: Dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 April 2013) 3 Answers - (Newest, 25 April 2013)
A female United States age 30-35, *uriousGirl616 writes:

Dear Cupid Why do guys like girl more when they are in a relationship?

Why do guys pay more attention and seem to be attracted to women who are taken?

When i had a boyfriend guys always wanted to take me out. But now that I'm single there's no guys in sight. But if I do start dating someone I like then here comes all these guys AGAIN! lol Im just curious why is that?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (25 April 2013):

Honeypie agony auntI think when you are happily dating/engaged or married to someone you gives off these happy vibes and I think people pick up on those, not as them being "happy vibes" but;" OH she is attractive vibes".

And for some guys/gals it becomes a game. It's about the chase, nothing more.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2013):

Forbidden fruit is what some people say it is. I don't think it's that though.

I get that too, I get way more interest from women when I'm in a relationship than when I'm single.

For me it's simple though. People in good relationships have an air of happy confidence, while single people around them are checking out potential partners, taken people are just there not really taking any notice and it's that "don't care" attitude that people are drawn to.

I mean think about it, when you're in a club or anywhere and you see a hot guy who is not even taking notice of women he's just enjoying himself and isn't on the hunt, then there's something a little extra intriguing about him isn't there? There's a contentment about that guy and he's not there to impress anyone. That makes you want him just a little bit more.

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A male reader, peanut_gallery United States +, writes (25 April 2013):

It works exactly the same way for men as well. I would even venture to say that a man with a beautiful woman on his arm may be more sought after than what you describe.

In my estimation, this has to do with popularity and the forbidden fruit. Many still want what they can't have and if your boyfriend happens to be well-known or high profile, they might seek you out even more.

I think this is a grave error on behalf of people. It is a feeling based more on instinct as opposed to reality. Stealing someone away creates quite a bit of tension. There is a significant amount of pressure on the "stealer" to impress and surpass the previous relationship. Meanwhile there is a good chance the "stealee" is constantly comparing and wondering if they made the right choice.

Long story short, while there are always exceptions, I would be weary of people that came on to me when they knew I was "attached"

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