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Why did she suddenly have a loss of feelings?

Tagged as: Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 September 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 8 September 2008)
A male Singapore age 30-35, *hah88X writes:

Back then, me and my girl, we met each other online.

I can't really say much of my status now with her.

We're together for 2months plus now.

We played the same game together, and after a period of time, we found that we liked each other very much.

We started texting each other on the phone. For some strange reason, I could never get the chance to hear her voice on the phone because she kept on telling me she "wasn't allowed to". We have never met each other before, but we could easily say we loved each other. Why is this so?

Well everyday we'd text each other and spend time together online, being the loving couple that we were.

She found out about my heartache previously and she helped me out of it. As a result, my heart became hers to keep.

Whenever we had group outings, she'd back out at the last minute, giving funny excuses which hardly sound credible to people, but I believe her nonetheless. That makes me feel as if she doesn't want to meet up yet. I do respect that, and in the end, I found out that she was not ready to meet up.

She'd lied to me about certain things, but me being naive and having trust and faith in her, I forgave her. She promised me so many things, but now recently, we've been talking lesser and lesser.

I asked if it was me, she kept on saying that it wasn't me. None of it had anything to do with me.

About us? She said no too.

In one of our msn chats, I asked her: Is it a sudden loss of feelings?

She said: Well yeah. Please give me some time.

She then proceeded to tell me, I promise not to let you go darl.

I know this seems nice, rosy and all...

She kept on saying that she loved me, and she did not want to lose me.

So I gave her the time she needed.

Then the 2nd group outing came, and she said she would come. It ended up like the first, but this time, she pretended to be the "little brother" who text-ed me, saying that she isn't home and they're worried.

It was one hour before I was to meet her.

I was already waiting for her around her area by then.

I called her phone and texted her, a LOT. She ended up turning off the phone. I knew it was her by then.

Until now, she has not replied to any of my messages.

I ended up asking her this: Do you want me to stay or go?

What my actual question is, why did the sudden loss of feelings occur when everything before it seemed sweet and fine? I do not see a reason; nor did we fight at all.

Why did this happen?

View related questions: msn, period, text

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A male reader, Shah88X Singapore +, writes (8 September 2008):

Shah88X is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks Emajayne for your input.

I appreciate it a lot.

Up till 10pm, she did not reply to my messages, so I take it as she wanted me to go.

It's over.

Even towards the end, she greeted me with silence.

I did ask, is it me?

Or is it us?

She said no, it wasn't me nor was it us. I came down to the conclusion that she was confused within herself.

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A female reader, Emajayne Canada +, writes (8 September 2008):

Emajayne agony auntOnline relationships are hard work, moreso than people realize. It feels so good to have someone in your life again after a relationship that turned sour and u felt that u'd never have anyone again...i know what thats like. Mine ended on account of my friends that i met online, he didnt like the fact that i was friends with them and dumped me because of it.

I have known these guys for two years and this past summer decided to meet them. Now the thing is that they live in scotland, and i live in canada...so that involves money and plain tickets. My parents were so good about it too, my mother came with me to make sure it was alright, we had all talked on the phone etc etc, taken all the nessesary precautions and we were all set. I had been waiting eons for this and it was finally within arms length. I was so excited but so nervous at the same time because what if they didnt like me in person? what if they thought i was ugly? what if we just didnt get along? this entirely amazing friendship was going to be over in moments. The second we all met i was convinced it was so crucial to make a good second first impression. Thing is i got really really close to one of them and he is now my boyfriend...i dont like calling him that though. He is someone that i love dearly, but i think boyfriend is just a shitty title. Moving on,

It could be she had really bad nerves about any number of things. She could also have just lost interest. A relationship does rely on contact and interaction between two people, not sharing the same internet connection. I really hope this isnt part of it but maybe she met someone else who was closer, who wasnt an online member of society automatically making it easier. but what i dont understand is that u are within traveling distance so it shouldnt really be the whole "omg the distance!" cause that would be silly. This is a tough question to answer as only she can. have u outright asked her this? why not stop asking to meet her and let her tell u what went wrong in her own time, or u can just come outright and ask her "yo whats ur problem!?", or something along those lines.

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