A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I have a strange situation to ask about. Today, a few hours after my wife and I had had some very satisfactory intimate relations, I sent a suggestive e-mail talking about that in a rather oblique way. I used an e-mail subject line of "confidential-read when alone", as I have before when we frequently exchanged such e-mail. But today she responded by calling me a complete idiot and demanding an apology, as if she was a casual friend to whom I had been too forward. What is up? (She works four days a week in a different city, so we chat by e-mail). I apologized (but why should I have apologized) and she remained cold in her few messages. What's up? My e-mail was nothing I haven't done before many times.Puzzled Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2011): Hi,
This is the original poster again. Security of the e-mail should not have been an issue, as the e-mail was sent through Hotmail, not a company e-mail address. Anyway, the language I used was so oblique that it would not have seemed risque without the personal knowledge that we shared. Still puzzled, as she doesn't come home until Thursday or Friday, and is not responding to my e-mails or cell phone calls...What did I do?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2011): Some work place retains emails for HR use? Some IT department has filters to copy such mails to special folders as defensive measure?
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A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (18 April 2011):
 Yeah, you definitely need to talk to her about it. She may have got some bad news when she got to work and no longer found it funny. Maybe she was just humoring you to begin with. Whatever the case, talk to her.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2011): This is the original poster (who asked the questino) again.
Actually, what mystifies me most about her behavior is that my e-mail contained a somewhat toned-down version of what I had said to her just before she left for work that morning, which she found humorous, not offensive and she left in good spirits. I just repeated it in e-mail as what I thought was a cute and loving introduction to an e-mail about other topics. Maybe she didn't notice the subject line "confidential--read when alone" and opened it when co-workers were looking over her shoulder? There was no explanation, and she has not responded to any additional e-mail. Puzzled...
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 April 2011):
 I think you need to ask her....
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (18 April 2011):
Perhaps the timing just wasn't right, or she was having a bad day. You should talk about this the next time you see each other. Explain your intent and why you're confused. Try not to make this a bigger issue than it is.
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A
male
reader, Drew21  +, writes (18 April 2011):
 My only question could be "did you use any words or phrases/references that you've never used before that may have possibly offended her?"I had something similar happen with my wife. We've been together for going on 7 years now, married for 4. One night we were getting a little rowdy, and sometimes we tend to talk dirty to each other.In the heat of the moment, i used the P-word to describe her vagina, and she just completely clammed up and got REALLY upset with me.Later on she told me that she found that word vile and repulsive, and she couldn't believe I had used it.I had absolutely NO clue she felt this way!
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