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Why did I get butterflies from a random man's touch?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 March 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 7 March 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi all. Okay this might be long but thanks ahead of time for reading it all. I have been with my fiance' for 3 years now. I have always thought he was the one and still do. About a year ago (almost) I had to go get fingerprinted for my job. There was this younger cop probably a little older than me and of course I found him attractive. Well when he was touching my hands and I was standing by him to do the fingerprinting, I had this feeling like you know those butterfly feeling in your stomach when you really like someone. Okay, then not only that but he asked me if I wanted to do the fingerprints again just in case they didn't come out the way they wanted so I said yes and I believe I said yes so he would touch my hands again and I could feel that feeling again. What the hell was I thinking or doing? It's like I was all caught up in the moment. I even wondered when I got that feeling if he did too because his hands were shaking. UGH! but i'm sure they were shaking so he wouldn't mess up. I don't want the cop. I mean at the time it's like I was convinced I do. He had to wash the stuff off my hands after from fingerprinting and it's like I didn't want him to stop. I am like so depressed right now. I feel emotionally drained. I feel like I cheated in a way. Did I? I love my fiance' he is my world. I know we're meant to be so why did this happen?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2012):

anoher thing to add since it didn't post yet I remember this past summer while I was with my fiance of 2 n a half years at the time (now it's 3) I was talking to this guy who I used to like a lot. I guess you could say I was flirting. I was telling him he should go to this event we had in our town and then I was telling him I like to kiss and hug people when I drink because I wanted him to take it as a hint and I remember actually planning on doing something when my fiance was asleep (it wasn't ocd thoughts) I wanted it .... I don't now of course. I even told him about this today but it doesn't matter if I told him the fact is I did it but why? why? if I love my fiance I don't get why I did it. I used to talk to this guy online for hours and hours and sometimes in my mind hope my fiance would do something to make me break up with him to be with this guy why? I LOVE MY FIANCE we are like 2 peas in a pod. We are best friends and he is my fiance I would be devistated without him

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A female reader, fishdish United States +, writes (7 March 2012):

fishdish agony auntThis happened a YEAR ago?! you are inflating the event as something catastrophic. you don't want the cop, you are not WITH the cop, you're with your fiance. Basically you can't get rid of sexual attraction to others even if you find your soulmate. as they say lust is fine, but the general rule is you can look but not touch and this was such a non-sexual touching it was pretty innocent. this is really a whoops moment, and if your bf knew that you've been emotionally suffering for so long over so little he'd probably want to comfort you and show to you that your love and realtionship is stronger than the fingerprinter's hold on you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2012):

thanks for the answer he is really good with affection so I don't get it

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (6 March 2012):

Honeypie agony auntSometimes it's the little things that set a person off. Is your Fiancee good with the affection?

Honestly an attractive guy had to "hold" your hand and your body reacted. It happens, it's what you DO with those feeling that shows who you are. Most people enjoy in little ways when they get someone they find attractive full attention.

Stop beating yourself up. Play cop with your fiancee, take his fingerprints and let him take yours see if it was the action that set your off.

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