A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid, I was in a very long relationship (two years) and i honestly thought that he was the one for me. After a while, i realized that i was chatting on the internet to men i didn't even find attractive. My relationship at the time was very good, he was always there for me. It seemed as if everything was perfect, yet for some reason i kept on flirting with other men. Either online, or when i go out without him. I never cheated on him. Then things started going bad, as if he felt i was doing something behind his back. He kept accusing me of cheating, and even used to tell me what to wear when i go out, it got to a point where i stopped finding him attractive, and fun to be around because of his constant accusations of me doing something and started viewing him from a different perspective! Things just started going pale and at that time it just seemed as if we were aware that its not getting better. I met another guy, he was everything my boyfriend wasn't in every way. I left my boyfriend, and started this new relationship. Now, the new relationship was perfect, a little too fast, in the emotional sense... we started seeing each other every day, he told me that he loved me a few weeks after dating, and at that time i felt the same. Now, this is probably a rare example of love at first sight, but it truly felt like this at the start. Things were amazing, a very open and truthful relationship considering we knew each other very little. I wasn't expecting this new relationship to be like the old one, i wanted a fresh start with a new person. Hoping to have a healthy relationship unlike the previous one. So it's not like i was expecting a secure and stable relationship in exchange for the old one. A honest fresh start. It seemed like that. Until, i went on a work related trip abroad. Not in one moment did i think of cheating, nor him cheating on me. When i came back, after maybe a week or so i discovered some rather disturbing messages on his computer. I was shocked. Even though i have flirted online a lot of times in the previous relationship, this hit me right in the face. I confronted him, we talked for hours. He explained these messages as simple boredom, and even though he stated he has a girlfriend to these woman but that doesn't matter, hurt me most. I felt so heart broken. He said sorry, and i saw that he was honestly feeling guilty for doing this. Now, since then i've been going crazy thinking about all the possible ways that he can cheat on me. Giving the fact that, he is a very direct person, also disturbs me. For example, he doesn't think that cheating is as he says ''the end of the world'', and he has admitted to me that an he called an old girlfriend of his while I was abroad, but that there were other people there and that nothing happened. I'm not stupid, if you call your ex it's for a reason. For the past 5 months the whole relationship, has been all about him reassuring me that hes not doing anything behind my back. I sometimes think about this so irrationally that i can't even talk to him about it, without accusing him in some way. It's funny, in a way. He never goes out without me, not because i make him. He actually enjoys my company, he always tells me that i need to calm down, and that i need a reality check. The amount of times I give up, and break up with him. It's only then do i see things more clearly, and then regret doing so. We even talked about living together in the near future.. Then i go and do something that proves me wrong, and cheat on him with a guy friend of mine. To be honest, i do not know why i did this, especially when i am the one thats accusing him. Did i do this to get attention? or for my so-called revenge? thinking ''he probably does the same'' i am totally clueless!!!!!!!! please help!!!! :(
View related questions:
flirt, has a girlfriend, revenge, the internet Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! |
