A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Why can't I get over my Ex even after 20 years ?20 years I met this wonderfull girl. We went out with each other for 2 years. She was my "soul mate". I was 16 and she was nearly 15 when her parents caught us having sex. We were forced to split by both sets of parents. Both of us were distraught.We are now both married but to be honest I have never gotten over her and every once in a while I get a strong urge to contact her. The last urge has lasted for over 3 years now and its eating away at me which is affecting my marriage.Anyway about 2 weeks ago we met by "coincidence" and although we never got a chance to talk as our families were there, the look she gave me when I was leaving blew me away. I really beleive in fate. This was the first time I had seen her in over 14 years as I had moved away.Should I try and contact her as I need to tell her that I still care for her. If she's not interested at all then I think this would help me finally move on. I need to do something as its eating away at me and my marriage as I have never loved anyone the same way I love her.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2007): I say go for it. You only live once.
A
female
reader, Help!Me! +, writes (12 May 2007):
Hey. Dude. Wake Up.
If you felt you were 'Soul Mates' with this woman, why did you marry your current wife? If you had 'urges' why do you have kids? Your 'Soul Mate' obviously is over you because otherwise she would have stopped and chatted, theres no harm in you chatting to an ex you havent seen in a while is there. Thats like, not chatting to a brother yuo havent seen since he was born because your wifes there. No. Okay.
This girl would have contacted you if she felt the same because women are known to make the first move really.
I think what you have said there is absolutely disgusting. You dont love your wife the way you love her? I think your wife deserves to know because how would YOU want to be in a relationship and then find out that your wife loves a man she hasnt seen in donkeys years and is planning to get back together with him even though you have a loving family that could be destroyed. If you two had a divorce in that relationship, you'd want custody of the children and then would want them to know that your wife has run of with this dissapearing act of a man. Well thats what would happen if you left your wife.
You are truly the most dispicable man i have ever had the misfortune to write to in my life.
Contact her if you like, possibly at the risk of hurting your family alot. Especially kids or your wife. Do it. I Dare you.
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A
female
reader, maryann61181  +, writes (12 May 2007):
 I could not imagine how much this must hurt. Try to think of this as a fantasy. Try to use that love you have for her, for your wife, because I'm sure she deserves it. You married your wife and she married her husband and for you to contact her would only stir the pot and the situation could get out of hand. If you were meant to be, you will come together in the afterlife (depending on what you believe). If you feel like you will never be able to get over her, talk to a professional. This is not fair to your wife.
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (12 May 2007):
 And you never will love anyone quite like you loved her. She was your first love and that makes her special in a way that no other woman can be. But you've gone along different paths for too long. It's likely you have nothing in common anymore and besides you're both married. A long time ago you both made a commitment to be with someone else forever and you have to let go of the dream and start living in the reality. I know you might not like this advice but I am in no doubt that it is the right thing.
CD
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