A
male
age
36-40,
*jekim
writes:I have been single now for about 2 years (I'm 22 years old). I would love to get a girlfriend but I just don't have any friends who know any girls and I am not in school anymore so I can't meet girls in school. I don't really like to go out and party because women there are all drunk and it's very difficult to find a good girl. I don't want to approach women who are strangers cause I have always heard u guys hate that. I love the women at bookstores but I always hear u guys complaining that men talk to you there so that seems like another off limits place. Just seems like women don't want to get approached anywhere or they are already takenSo how can a guy like me find some nice girls to date?? I'm not a bad looking guy in real life and I get along great with almost everybody I know, so I know I'm not a bad person. My friends always tell me that I'm a great guy
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male
reader, Cjekim +, writes (28 June 2011):
Cjekim is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the answers so far. I should mention i have tried dating sites to no luck. Usually I get no response or there are no local singles near me. Most sites usually have to default to a state level search. Which usually means the next closest singles are almost 30-45 miles away.altouth Serenity80 may be on to something and I need to learn to just approach women more. :P
A
male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (28 June 2011):
I would also suggest dating sites, but I want to pick you up on something you said about women not wanting to be approached. This is "nice guy" mentality and a sign that you have low confidence in yourself.
Of course a woman (or man) would not want to be approached by some creep who seems either weird or even threatening.
But what woman wouldn't want to find herself talking to an engaging, interesting and attractive man? Walking up to a girl and starting a conversation is spontaneous, if you can hold a conversation and seem interesting most girls are going to be intrigued by what you've done, and be interested in the idea of getting to know you more.
I would suggest working on your confidence, and possibly your anxiety about approaching and talking to strangers. You can do this, just by making general conversation with other people, they don't necessary have to be women. You will find, most people are happy to respond and be glad, and you'll see that actually you do have something to offer to other people.
Like I say, the dating websites are an option, but if you want to find a girl that you chose, you are going to need to learn how to make the first move with them. It's not as hard as you think, you just need to do it a few times to realise.
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A
male
reader, Drew21  +, writes (28 June 2011):
 You can try a dating site..I've had mixed results with those, though. I hate to say it, but the best thing for you to do is be patient, be attentive, but don't rush anything.
A watched-kettle never boils, ya know?
I have been in the same situation as you, before in my life.. Gone a good couple of years in between relationships. You'd be surprised where they start, sometimes!
For instance, i was working at a University in their technical department. One of my duties was to deliver equipment to classrooms when a teacher requested it.
One night i was setting up an overhead projector, when all of the sudden i realized a girl sitting in the front row of the class was complimenting me on my shirt. It took me a couple of moments to realize what was going on! For the rest of the semester, every tuesday and thursday night i was delivering the same equipment to the same class, and this girl and i would chat it up.
We wound up going on a couple of dates. It was nice, and came entirely out of the blue.
The part that really sucks about dry spells like this is: Once you finally get a girl to date, suddenly you'll find there are 5 other girls who come out of the woodwork and are interested.
Life isn't fair like that :P
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