| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I am 27 years old and have been with my boyfriend since I was 17. We have always had a wonderful relationship and moved in together just over a year ago. I thought everything was fine with our relationship, I was even beginning to think about marriage- excited thinking he was going to ask me to marry him soon. Instead, two days before christmas I found out that he has been texting a girl he met at a works party asking her if he could take her out sometime.... I was devastated, we talked, he told me he was unhappy with our relationship and we had become boring. He said he felt he hadn;t experience life properly because we had always been together. I told him i would take my things and move back in with my mum and dad after work the follwing day, although i didnt want to. At work I could think of only what had happened. When i went to collect my things he was there and we talked, but for some reason I was the one who was begging him to stay with me. After a while he agreed and told me he was glad i didnt just move out and that he wanted me to stay. we had a lovely christmas together, both trying hard, but the last two weeks have been a nightmare for me. I am the one doing all the chasing, thinking of things we can do together whilst he stays late at work and is quite mean to me... Deep down i know i should just give him what he wants and leave him, but i love him so much and dont want to go, why can't he see what we have instead of thinking the grass is always greener on the other side?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2007): if you truly love someone, you will have the strength to let them go. only once they come back to you, do you know that they are yours and only yours.
what your boyfriend is saying is true, you both didnt live life because you have been together for 10 years. you havent had the opportunity to date other people and figure out if you two really ARE right together, or if there are better matches out there. and this is something you need to figure out before getting married.
so dont be angry with him, curiosity is human.
my advice for you would be to tell him that you love him and that you want things to work out between you two. and then suggest a month or two break. you can make up rules, such as you both can go on dates but not have sex etc... during the break, dont text, dont phone, dont see eachother unless he initiates it first. at the end of the month, meet up and see how each of you feels.
you may still love him, but how he feels is whats important in this case. a marriage cannot be carried by one person! if he has found out that you are not what he is looking for, its a good thing you found out before you two married. if he has realized that you truly are his one and only, then you both never have to worry about doubts again.
i hope this helps.
there is hope; this is what happened between my boyfriend and i. i was having doubts and flirting around with other men and he was wise enough to let me go. it lasted 3 months, but i came back to him. i realized that what we have is really special and cant be found with just anyone.
you will have to be patient and strong, but hopefully that will be the response you get from your boyfriend.
good luck 3
xoxox
A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (14 January 2007):
 I'm so sorry you're going through this because it doesn't sound like you deserve it at all but I think you're hanging onto a relationship that isn't there anymore. You were so young when you got together that you've never had the chance of lots of experiences. While you see this as a great thing because it shows your commitment to your boyfriend he's starting to feel trapped by it. It's possible that you can persuade him to stay with you and make it work but it seems like the best thing you can do is let him go. He isn't as willing to make it work as you are and you deserve better. Hope that helps.
CD
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