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Why can't he see a future with me?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 December 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 7 December 2007)
A age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have been with my boyfriend for two years now and we love each other alot, but everytime I talk about the future he says he doesn't want to get married or have kids and to enjoy right now together.

He says he wants to achieve alot in life, but I understand that and I want to support him, however, what i find difficult understanding is if he loves me then why can't he see a future with me.... I worry because my family don't know about him and I want to be with me and not play mind games with me. The more I think about it the more I feel like he doesn't love me enough.PLease help!!!

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A male reader, chlez83 Zambia +, writes (7 December 2007):

He's just told you what he wants and it's up to you to accept it or not.You really can't force him to see things your way.Relationships are more about compatibility rather than compromising to satisfy the other's wishes.In other words you are not compatible.You may be compatible in bed but marraige and commitment are much more about shared beliefs and visions than just desires.So take a minute and think if you really wana stay at the same level in a relationship for another ten years.If so enjoy life with him and stop complaining.If not STOP complaining and find someone else who shares similar future plans.

All the best.

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A male reader, Richard_EMids United Kingdom +, writes (7 December 2007):

Richard_EMids agony auntHi there. The situation you describe is very common. What is happening is that when you talk about the future, you have one view in mind and he has another. You both have different ideas of the future.

Expressed another way, your needs are different.

Take care

Richard

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