A
female
age
22-25,
Tart
writes:Hi... I'm a single lipstick lesbian and have recently started a new job which I absolutely love. The work is really fun and the people I work with are really lovely... I like one girl especially and I'm finding hard to read if she's gay or not?She is a very private person and it's hard to get her to open up about herself, but when she does, she makes me laugh loads and I can't help but be massively attracted to her.I have suspitions about her sexuality for a few reasons, but I'm not sure if I'm just reading into them wishful thinkingly (I know that's not a word but you knowwhat I mean...) Reason 1: She just seems gay... gorgeous girl but has a masculine quality about her? Reason 2: She definately doesn't have a boyfriend Reason 3: She's into her sport/cars etc Reason 4: She makes little comments about things from time to time which could be read as hints about her sexuality... Reading back they are all terrible reasons and now I'm thinking I'm definately reading into it... but until you meet her you wont know what I mean...? Anyway, I really like her and I'm not sure if I should ask the question and risk the embarressment or keep my mouth shut and risk missing out?Help x
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female
reader, howcomehoney  +, writes (7 December 2007):
 The way I do it, when I'm trying to see if a girl's a Hetty Betty or not, is by starting a conversation about a crazy ex I had. I mean, I just tell some silly story about how funny it was when my crazy ex did this or that, but I use the "she" pronoun a lot, and laugh, and then say "But I bet everyone has a few stories like that, you must as well" - which is a cue for her to say something about her own past and generally you get a "he" or a "she" in there. Also, it's a good way of coming out to her if you haven't yet. Nice and casual like.
A
female
reader, baby duck  + ♥, writes (6 December 2007):
 Honey, life is full of risks... by design. We can't go living life, in a bubble, can we? That would be 'existing' as opposed to 'living'. I'm not saying throw your heart out there and let it get trampled on, but accept that you have to take risks and sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose.
So... stick you toe in the water. Catch her eye, flirt a little, see what happens. I imagine the process is the same whether your straight, gay or lesbian ... young, middle-aged or getting on in years. There is no sure-fire way of knowing before hand, how she's going to react.
Proceed with caution because your heart is tender. But remember that all the older people say, "It's not what I did that I regret, it's what I didn't ..."
Good luck and best wishes!
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A
male
reader, Samutsen  +, writes (6 December 2007):
 I don't know what lipstick lesbian means but I see no reason why you are not able ask her out for a dinner and invite her to your flat for a cup of coffee, and see whether will actually make a coffee or not. No risk involved and in case of a no (no to the dinner) there is plenty of room to save face.
As we men always do towards straight women.
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