A
female
age
30-35,
*kyLaBleu
writes:So heres the thing. I've been with my now ex boyfriend,TJ, for almost 2 years. I really do love him. Honestly, I do. But he has a huge problem with lying, usually about the smallest things! I went out with a guy last year, after breaking up with TJ. We eventually got back together after I realized I fucked up huge. I didn't like the other guy I went with him because of what my friends wanted. He turned out to be a jerk. Well TJ cheated on me. Had a one night stand with some whore-literally-who was his sisters friend, then after i found out denied it. He was a total ass all summer, calling me a slut and a bitch. I forgave him after he admitted it-only cuz i cornered him haha, but anyway, he smokes.....and i can't be around it, i hate it. i asked him to stop and he agreed without reluctance. That was over a year ago. He quite for maybe a week. Well recently he said he stopped for like 3 months-that is a lie. I found out yesterday he smokes like a damn freight train. his paw paw said "tj you need to tell sky, she isnt stupid she can smell it on you." and tj said "no she cant, i chew gum and stuff. she'll never know." This pissed me off to a level i couldn't believe. We aren't dating-because I had a feeling something was wrong. The whole cheating thing hurts me still, but he has dropped contact with her and stuff...so why couldnt i be with him? other then the fact i have a huge guard and he melted my heart only to stab it....andway.....i knew something was off. But couldnt prove it, til now. What do I do?? please help me....i love him but it's like he doesn't care anymore. He swears he loves me and literally freaks when i flat out say 'thats it, just get out of my life, im done.' but hes just...i dont know....help me. I have a lot of stress....always have, he was the one person ive ever trusted and its just backfired...please help me. I had an addiction to cutting, he helped me stop. I stopped for him, for the better life.....but he cant quit smoking? he thinks im dumb. he hasnt even tried! i hate this. i relapsed yesterday because i had a breakdown. my life stresses are severe and i just need a friend and some advice....help.
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a break, cheated on me, got back together, one night stand, smokes Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): TJ is a manipulative and lier the obvious reason, he is addicted to life killing products. You cannot change, it is he himself should realise the value of life and change himself. Yes he had helped in the past by giving goody goody advice and you being a gal got soft heart and obeying nature inhibited in you. You need someone who can guide you and protect you, this is psychology of most of gals. You cannot expect him to listen to your advise, he is different from you. You have to analyse his intention whether he wants to have long lasting relationship with you or its just for the fun and fulfilling the emotional ups & downs.
Day & Night will not meet. Let him confused forever in his life. For that reason its not good you to be like him. Thinking from the heart when it comes to love is fantastic but not in this kind of case. You need to use your God's given wisdom to make your life better. There's no point ruining your life with him in confusion. Be clear, if the guy is geniune continue the relationship with him or please come out of that relationship and concentrate on the life task. Stop worrying about him. Let him smoke how long he wants, it should be non of your concern. You have not created him and you are not responsible for his life.
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