A
male
age
,
*regory6
writes:Why are people secretive in relationships? I think I know some of the answers. I have just come out of a roller coaster ride with a partner who was ridiculously secretive, preventing me from meeting a single person she knew, while I had introduced her to many of my friends and family.It wasn't that her family did not know I existed. I think she prevented me meeting them because she was hiding something about herself: she presented an image of herself to them as a caring mother, sister and family member, while in fact running our relationship on her exclusive terms, which was a great deal of sex with zero commitment or real intimacy.She was obviously ashamed of this fact, so my rational reasoning for her secrecy was that she was compartmentalising her life to hide herself.Does this ring true to anyone here? I would welcome any insights and advice. I feel damaged by the relationship and have taken a long time to recover. All my friends think she is a user and manipulator. She could be extremely warm and generous when she was seeking what she wanted, then became distant and cold the moment she had her "fix". I feel emotionally abused and knew I had to end it.I could have continued and adjusted to her selfishness but I knew it would destroy me. Does anyone else have similar experiences?
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reader, gregory6 +, writes (2 September 2010):
gregory6 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello anonymous: I think anyone who hides behind this kind of secrecy has a hidden agenda. I agree it was not a "relationship" which is why I ended it. If she was "sick" of being judged then maybe there was a sound reason for being so. People are not generally judgemental in this way unless they have very good reason. I think I know what that reason is. My post was specifically to ask others about similar experiences of theirs.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2010): This was not a relationship it was secret lovers,being in a relationship means meeting family and friends on both sides surely what ever she was hiding was not that bad maybe she was sick of being judged by these people and now your doing the same bet she is happy that you ended it
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