A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:why are guys so quiet after sex? after sex all my boyfriend wants to do is sleep and hardly talks. seems like hes in a bad mood. usually im not the type to always be that sleepy after sex. i dont mind laying there and cuddling but i cant just lay there forever if im not falling asleep. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2011): Probably an evolutionary thing to keep us from running off afterward...
Hmmmm....any guy who gets up and wants to go right away may not be a good long term partner for raising children....maybe in a 1000 years we will just have sex then die.
Honestly, the IF the sex is good and IF you are into the woman, you just feel so relaxed afterward...best sleep tonic.
A
male
reader, Hugh.J  +, writes (30 October 2011):
 You beat me to it, "Odds" - I was going to say that and you are dead right. In order to try to be fair to my partner, over the years I've tried to remain awake and alert after orgasm and find that the "afterglow" period where we cuddle and come down slowly is helpful there.
This echoes "chigirl"s point too, so we seem to be all in agreement today!
Anyway, don't berate your boyfriend; it's all perfectly normal.
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A
male
reader, Barrybaggs +, writes (30 October 2011):
Odds is absolutely correct. After we have orgasmed, we become kinda sleepy and just want to sleep or lay back and unwind.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (30 October 2011):
 After orgasm, a man's body releases a lot of hormones that make us really drowsy (Google "refractory period"). Combine with the physical exertion and it basically knocks us out. It's biological; he could ignore it and force himself to talk and move around, but to compare it to female biology, it'd be like asking you to be sweet and physically active during a particularly bad round of cramps - certainly possible, but the results would still be forced.
Women's bodies don't produce the same effects after orgasm, which is why you don't react the same way.
Morning sex lessens the effect since we're all rested from a good night's sleep, but doesn't eliminate it.
Pretty much all guys are like that to some extent or another.
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A
male
reader, Orpheous  +, writes (30 October 2011):
I don't know if you girls feel that too, but after orgasming(and cumming)boy doesn't get turned on at all with anything. Also he just wants to lay there and enjoy the moment. That's happening to me at least.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 October 2011):
 I don't know, I never came across such men who go quiet and just want to sleep. Unless it's in the middle of the night that is, on one of the occasions where I wake up and want sex, or want sex to late in the evening and he's already dead tired.
Try morning sex. He'll not fall asleep on you then as you have to get up and out for work. Set the alarm an hour earlier (go to bed earlier as well if you can) or have morning sex on the days where you can sleep in.
If done before breakfast I advice you to stick to quickies, or at least nothing too long and exhausting, as you'll be starved afterwards and not have enough energy. The best thing is to have breakfast in bed while still in your pj's, and then roll over for some action. Or do it in the shower after breakfast before you head off to whatever you need to do that day.
ps. statistically men crave more cuddles after sex than women do. So cuddle with the man, even if he's sleepy and silent.
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A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (30 October 2011):
After sex, my fiancé likes me to cuddle with him, he occasionally likes to make small talk, and he almost always falls asleep.
I've only been with a few men, but none have been chatty after sex.
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