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Why are 11-13 year old kids talking of dating and sexual contact???

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 March 2007) 55 Answers - (Newest, 13 June 2008)
A male Germany age 36-40, home_land writes:

hello

It might be I am wrong or I came from mars but it is so tragic to see 11 to 13 years old kids are dating and talking about sexual contact? Where are the families? Why don't they look after their kids?

thank you

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2008):

well i am 13 (f) ad i dont think theres anything wrong as long as both ppl agree it and want it. im in kinda similiar situation. i'm seein this guy who is 20 and i admit i was the one, NOT him, who asked if we could have sex. we've been together almost a year n have sex 1 every 2 days. so i think its ok if you and your bf agree and are ready

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2008):

i am a girl (12) dating a boy (16) and we talk about sex but he knows i want to wait till im at LEASt 13. so we just do other stuff so i dont worry about being pregnant.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2008):

hello i am 13 dating 14 year old girl. we have kissed but would never do anything sexual until of legal age.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2008):

yes i agree this time of year kids of 11 and 14 years old are talking about sex.kids are starting to talk about sex an ddoin it because of the tv music and more.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2008):

yes I agree, it does seem to be all kids talk about these days. Plus the media, music, television, internet, etc allows kids to know and understand sex well before they are teens. Add to that kids are looking older than in the past, it seems obvious that they will want to experiment.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2008):

it's just because they've learned about sex and there's lots of people talking about around them.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2008):

i'm a 12 (girl) and i don't think of being as a kid. me and my boyfriend waited till i was ready to have sex and now when we do its wonderful. i think if you're body is ready for sex you should not be treated like a kid and not be worried about sex, but use protection

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008):

well, im a girl & im 11. my boyfriends, 11 too. we dont kiss, or makeout. But we both want to. But he hugs my waist in stuff, and like i hug him. We talk about sex, too, but we dont plan on doing it until we're 16.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008):

Well... i eally like this girl and im 11 and shes thireen. I dont think its right to have sex but i no kids who talk bout it all the time! it is a weird thing (im guessing lol) and well im not gonna do it till at least over 18!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2008):

because this is a very dangeros age

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2008):

it's school! in grade five we start learning about sex in class so this is why kids are doing all this crazy stuff

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008):

weird you have to type "human" in that box..... anyways, I just turned 13 on april 7th (yeah i'm a youngster) I had a childhood friend at the age of 4. She and I have been friends forever. At the age of 10, we talked to eachother about even more serious stuff like relationships. Then a week later, we were dating like real boyfriend and girlfriend and we didnt even know it. My point in that story is, a 13 year old male/female should not date anyone that is at least 6 MONTHS older. If it's like 3 years older, your child is already molested. It is ok if they are within 6 months of age range, but if they are at least 7 months older, make sure you knew this person for over 5 years. (AAAaAAAAAAaAAaAaaaahh!!! finger cramp!! to much typing!!)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2008):

I am a 13 year old girl and I talk about sex all the time with my boyfriend and I kiss him and make out with him! so what... but I will not have sex until im 15 16 years old!

Having sex isn't illegal until your 18 you can have sex with anyone that's not over 3 years older than you!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008):

I'm 13 yrs old and I have a girlfriend. Hell I talk about sex but I would never do it before I was 18.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2008):

well I am 12 and I am dating 13 year old girl and kissing her 2morrow so just get a date

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A female reader, I.miss.yooh Australia +, writes (6 January 2008):

11-13 is a time where hormones are starting up, purberty is beggining and curiosity is a huge factor. I think its completely normal for kids that age to date, talk about sex and even get horny.. but having sex is a whole different story, not only are they not mature enough to make that decision, its illegal and wrong.

Im 15 and not even gonna go there until im 18, teens think their in love but in the end are gonna regret giving up something so precious, then realise they wern't ready/wrong person etc...

much love xxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2008):

Right I'd like to get some things straight here, I'm a thirteen year old girl myself and how the hell can you blame their parents? I mean it's not the parents fault they want to learn about things, it's only normal. Some people are curious and develop faster then others. I personally think there is nothing wrong with having a boyfriend and 'doing stuff' with them. I think it's up to the person how told they want to wait. It doesn't matter as long as your 100% ready for it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2007):

I think it is natural for 12-13 year olds to talk about sex. Dating is great education for them also! Actually having sex, thats different.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007):

Kids aren't different at all. I was horny as hell by the time I was 11 or 12 and all I could think about was wanting to have sex. But that doesn't make it a good idea to start having sex as soon as we have sexual feelings.

Nobody wants to hear this at a young age but it's still just as true.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2007):

i am a 12 year old girl and i think about boys alot really kids areb different now

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2007):

yo i am 11 and boys mean the world its not rong we are exploring i have a boy friend! and i have dated from 3rd grade to 5th grade soo far!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007):

There are millions of virgins in their 20s & 30s and the majority of them don't regret the decision.

It's unfortunate that so many young kids are talking about "the right age" to begin sex as even happening before 18, let along middle-school. The kids think they're acting grownup but eventually they'll realized that they were just brainwashed & taken advantage of at a culture-wide level. The media got to sell a few more crappy products, and the kids were robbed of a more decent-paced emotional development. Great deal.

I don't know where the parents are. (Probably can't be home because they're off earning money to buy their kids a few more of the products that are screwing up the kids' perceptions about life.)

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A male reader, WOW94 Dominican Republic +, writes (6 November 2007):

I think its very wrong 4us 2have sex at this age but i dont think its wrong to date and getting to know each other..

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2007):

hey, im 13, turning 14 in 25 days here, and I have had thots about it (at points VERY BAD!!! X( but i have only had one gf in my entire lifetime, and we never pressured each other, so I don't c the problem as long as u wait for at least 5-6 more years to do it!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2007):

I am 13 years old

A lot of kids these ages are going through puberty, So they might talk about sex, Idk, but I think it's common for the girls to lose virginity at younger ages than boys...

Whats really important is that they know about how to protect themselves in the future, getting pregnant and STD's is not cool when you are only 11-13.

I used to talk about sex with my friends, I still sort of do, But we don't go around having sex with each other, thats a little overboard (actually a lot...)

Im sure many kids, By the age of 13 have already lost their virginity, But they may have just done oral sex or something like that... As long as they used protection it isn't as big a deal, But it usually goes against the state laws, in which case if they get caught (Your a lot likely to get caught if someone gets pregnant, it's like a big Duh you had sex and you didn't use protection or it wasn't adequate enough to stop your pregnancy) they get punished by the parents, or they get locked up for a while...

Some places in africa it's legal to have consensual sex at the age of 12... Some places it's 21, You can't have sex until the legal age of gambling in the US, Then other places it's only legal if your married.

I almost lost my virginity at 11... It would have been a stupid mistake, But I have been educated for a long time, Since 8...

Sex has a lot of dangers, It is not something that kids should be allowed to do, but I'm not sure if they should be locked up for it either...

It's a really controversial thing...

I might be waiting til I get married, Or til Im at least 14, But no one knows the future...

Sex education isn't until 9th grade, right? but kids are already having sex before that in a lot of cases, It's usually the parents job to talk to their kids at a age they think that their kids would be mature enough to handle it...

It's tricky whether you should start educating them younger, or keep it how it is.

If kids are already having sex at 11-13 maybe even younger... then they need to know what pains and pleasures sex can bring, It's far too early for them to be getting sexual diseases and having children when they are children.

Kids are smarter than you think sometimes though, I would know since I am smart, and I'm a kid, lol

If you really wanted to stop kids from having sex at 11-13 you might as well monitor everything else they do, like what they say, who they hang out with, where they go...(If your that control sick... then what they think).. But lets not get too far there...

Parents do look after their kids, but they can't be there all the time, The kids can easily drop by their friends house afterschool, go to a secret place, and even just invite someone over while the parents are gone.

Protection works, but Prevention always works, So maybe shes taking the pill, but what if she or he has an STD, That wont stop it, Condoms are effective if used properly, but many young kids don't know about protection such as condoms yet, If they just manage to stumble into sex, there can be a lot of problems.

Everyone has different opinions, And some of what I have said would be... very inappropriate, But I'm just trying to get a few different points across, It's your decision on how you will treat this issue.

Dating is a completely different thing, dating may just be "going out" or something like that, they may just hang out or talk, kiss sometimes, it's like girlfriend and boyfriend, there is nothing wrong with that, they are just developing their social skills for later on in life when Dating is much more crucial.

Sex is not really justifiable, But Dating is Fine, I've had a girlfriend when I was 6 years old...

Should I ever have sex, I'll use protection, Until I get married, and me and her have a long relationship and that we don't have any sexual diseases, then maybe she can use the pill or something.

Share your thoughts on this...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007):

im a 13 year old boy and i am going through puberty so i think its natural for kids my age to talk about sex because most of the time there not going to do anything i have a girlfriend and we talk about sex but all we do is kiss

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2007):

Hi, I am a 13- year old, and would like to give my advice on this. I would like to start off to say, that I am JUST now starting to date(im in 8th grade b-day was june 21st), I do have sexual feelings and think about it, but I never would think of having sex at my age, I wait until I am married. I haven't yet went on a date, but I have asked a girl out, and hope to be going out soon, Parents, just let them go on a date, it will not kill them, if you think they did something wrong, get them tested by a doctor occording to what you think. Let them learn how to interact with others of the opposite gender.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2007):

im 13 (boy) and i have only dated 1 person b4 and i still want 2 have companion ship buy im not pressured and its normal me and my m8s never pressure we support each other like proper friends so this is all natrual 4 us.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2007):

hi, im 12 years old and i hadn't actually had a relationship till year 7, im in year 8 at the moment and i only hang round with boys...i dont think its wrong to have a boyfriend at the age of 11-13 but i know what u mean by the talking of sexual contact.. infact i've had a few of the boys i hang round with come up to me askin if they could feel me in places and show me their penis's (i'd just like to say i turned down all offers) but its human nature to make mistakes and isn't a relationship another form of socialising..? so what im trying to say is you adults probably did stupid stuff when u were our age and now its our turn...let us have relationships and learn when 2 say no, enough is enough. i've had about 12 boy friends since the begining of year 7 but i've learned how to maintain a good relationship and now me and my boyfriend have been dating for 11 months =)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2007):

Well I'm 13 and yeah people say they're "dating" but ost of them are to scared to hold hands. Its not parents fault it's just peer pressure. And if I like a guy I would just hang out with I wouldn't say we're dating. And most kids are too mature to do stupid stuff like drugs and drinking and smoking. Some kids let their parents find out that they smoke just so they can smoke weed, which cures cancer.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2007):

Hiya for all the parents sayin

ooh i no my teenage girls dont do this how do u no they dont do it??I mean if u asked a 13 year old girl

if she was having sex there not likely 2 turn around and say

Yep sure am are they :S even if they wer and its ok that

13 year olds are dating and things u gotta grow up sumtyme

and if they want 2 they shud be able 2 date not have sex tho

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2007):

Hear. Hear. I find it quite worrying..and its not just the dating it's the alcohol and smoking that i see so many 13yr olds doing!

My sisters 14 and has had about 10 times as many boyfriends (if you can call them that) as I have, and I'm 19.

It's really not right and she doesn't see anything wrong with it and all her friends are doing it so she doesn't see where shes going wrong.

Some of the things they talk about I find shocking. And they all kiss each other all the time guys and girls.

They have not had any sex education ... is this maybe part of the problem?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2007):

Hi. I want to first say that I am a thirteen-year-old girl myself and I agree with you. But not all of us are like that. Basically, in every school there arent mean girls and geeks; there are all different types of clique's. Every clique pretty much has a set age that you can start dating at (although it's not anything like clubs. And the set ages arent announced, it's kind of a thing you just know) The sluts, rich kids, and stupid kids, are the ones who talk and do things like that. The other kids (the one's adults and teachers respect for their common sense knowing that this is innapropriate) dont. Basically, respectable dating starts in high school. Just dont think all of us are like that!! I know I'm not. I'm an all A student, in National Junior Honor society, editor in chief of my school newspaper, first chair playing violin in orchestra, an a junior volunteer at my local hospital. And I'm not like that. I know that it's wrong, and the people I hang out with do too. Hope this helps.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2007):

Why are you all worrying about it? I'm 14 years old and not a virgin. People need to grow up

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A female reader, tasha2007 United Kingdom +, writes (14 August 2007):

tasha2007 agony auntI know what you mean! iv been looking on here and have been shocked at what ive been seeing! Im only 15 but when i was 11 i know i wasnt even thinking about sex well...not like that.

I have a 12year old neice and she has been growing up far to quickly, i find pictures of her that she sends to me to put on her bebo of her lying on her bed half naked!.

Personally i blame all these music videos of 'beautiful' women dancing around with short shorts and belly tops!.

Kids grow up far to fast these days...=/

xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2007):

I have no clue, I am 13 myself, but I am not "as they call Mature" as they are, i am not into that stuff, some dont even have families, maybe thats it

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2007):

i am just an 11 year old.

um... i dont think many kids would do that though cause in my class every one says EWW to just the word "SEX" so i doubt they want to do it either......

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2007):

To add on to my last note I dont think under aged sex is alright wait till your 16 then move to las vages.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2007):

Im 18, I had a girlfreind when I was 12.And talking about sex is natural.13 is where I hit puiberty.If you dont want your kid to talk about normal things that evry body dose home school him/her.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2007):

i am 12 years of ages and i think that parents keep there kid/kids from making their own mistakes, if you let them make their own mistakes they will learn from it and never do something stupid like that agin!!!!!!! trust me i been there and done that and you been there and done something stupid like that too!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2007):

Yes I'm 11 and I'm tired of hearing my friends say " hey you want to date with me. These kids parents are unfit.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007):

i know i'm 11 my mom talks to me i'm not having sex until i'm married

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2007):

well i have a question i am 15 year old girl but i like a 13 year old who acts very mature is it illiegal to do that

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2007):

kids are talking like this because they think its cool and there so keen to date

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2007):

Because we feel like it. Nuff said.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2007):

I dont agree. I think it is ok that the children are like this. They probobly get all this stuff from older children they hang around/ or video clips on internet/ or myspace, aol instant messager. If you dont like this behavior i suggest you block things like facebook and put parental controls on the internet and tell them not to hang around older kids. But around there age I would think they would know what sex is and they are entering puberty at 4-5th grade. I have a little sister and when she was 5 she wanted a bra...not because of sex (she doesnt no wut it is) but because she think it looks so called "cool" LOL.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2007):

11-13 year olds are talking about dating because many get their first boyfriend/girlfriend around those ages. As for why they talk about sexual contact is because between the ages of 11-13 they learn about it at school.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2007):

Your not alone, I think it is tragic. I have teenage girls and they are not doing this. You cant blame the parents every time, but most of the time, It is their fault for not guiding their kids properly.

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A male reader, home_land Germany +, writes (30 March 2007):

home_land is verified as being by the original poster of the question

home_land agony aunthello, and thank you very much for taking part of shairing this subject and i have no kids but i was one,and i have learned that if i want to plant a rose in my garden .i have to think of all the ways to keep it alive and take care of it, and protect it from any harm ,in my garden i am the one wh is resposible for my own rose , and if i want it to be a nice and strong rose i have to give it the time and offert.and once that rose strong enough it well have enough thorns to protect it self,man and woman they are the basic of Socity and they are the Socity in small form for their babys and kids ,and the big form of Socity is what is the rsolt that made by small Socitys,

thank you

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A female reader, Bailey J United Kingdom +, writes (30 March 2007):