A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I dated a girl on and of for 3 years or so. When we broke up it was always my doing and when we last broke up a year ago, I told myself and her that it would be the last time. We had just moved in together in a new city and the relationship was not working out. I left her there by herself. I haven't been able to move on since- I've kissed a couple of people but have not been open to the idea of dating anyone else, and can't find myself attracted to anyone else. After I left her she had a really difficult time, and she just told me that she ended up sleeping with a bunch of people. Her and I are still friends and still talk often, and we both admit to still having feelings for one another, but I am extremely hurt by her actions. I realize the hypocrisy, and it's probably just what I deserve, but maybe some women can help explain this to me so that I can forgive her and be a good friend, instead of letting it reflect on my self image and self esteem.
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broke up, move on, moved in, self esteem Reply to this Question
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female
reader, problemmaganet  +, writes (17 January 2010):
 If you ended it, then you ended it. When guys do that, girls are hurt too. Maybe she needed to feel close to someone, or she wanted to think she was over you. It could be many things. You don't need to forgive her and she does not need to forgive you, since like you said, it was hypocrisy, so just stay friends without going out again. That would probably be the best thing.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (17 January 2010):
 You have no need to forgive. You'd broken up for the last time. She is free to do whatever. You are hurt because you still feel the connection with her. Men are possessive, this trait helps them to spread the genes with the women they want.
When I break up with someone, I cut all connection with them. Cold Turkey. It is better to deal with that void alone than to string people along.
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