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Why am I always so nervous when it comes to pleasing my guy sexually?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 May 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 28 May 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *aya20 writes:

dear cupid,

I am going out with this guy and things have become serious and i think he wants to have sex. he knows i want to wait and he respects that but he does want me to pleasure him in other ways. i want to but i get so nervous when it comes to it and i dont want to scare him away.

he knows its hard 4 me and he respects that 2 but i just dont understand why i cant bring myself to do.

what can i do?

what is wrong with me?

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A female reader, AskEve United Kingdom +, writes (28 May 2007):

AskEve agony auntThe reason you can't bring yourself to do it is because you're not READY to do it. You don't feel comfortable enough with him yet. Sex between two people should be spontaneous and natural. It's a very intimate act and is the ultimate way of showing your partner just how much you love them.

Too many people engage in sex today for the wrong reasons and end up with all sorts of problems, STD's unwanted pregnancies, just to say they've "done it", because their friends are doing it. Don't feel pressured into having sex, when the time is right you'll know.

Eve

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A female reader, jaya20 United Kingdom +, writes (27 May 2007):

jaya20 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thx 4 ur answer, i appreiate it. im not sure if i can ask him 2 walk me through it, its embrassing an im shy.

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A male reader, DV1 United States +, writes (27 May 2007):

DV1 agony auntIt may because you're new to it, and you're not sure if you can do it well. If you really want to, ask him to walk you through it, and be patient. Just make sure that he doesn't go beyond what you're willing to do.

DV1

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A female reader, candy00s United Kingdom +, writes (27 May 2007):

candy00s agony auntYou are bound to feel nervous the first time you have sex with your boyfriend.

maybe your not quite ready to take things to the next level, spend more time getting to know one another and continue to take things slowly.

You will know in your own mind when you feel ready to take things further and if you love one another then he wont mind waiting.

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