A
female
age
41-50,
*etray651
writes:I been married to my husband for three years now, but for the past few months I had realized that whenever we have sex he always have to put on a porn movie to watch. It hurts me so much because I feel like I am not good enough for him and while we are having sex his eyes are on the screen. My questions is 1)Does that mean he is not enjoying sex with me? 2)He visualized that I am them? 3)I can't even turn him on unless he is watching his movies? For the Guys/men please let me know what you guys think when you do that to your love one. I feel so betray and feels like he is cheating on me.
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (20 February 2009):
 I'm with LazyGuy. This is not common guy behavior and YOU need to ask HIM those 3 questions if you want answer you can actually use in your relationship.
Have you ever asked him to turn it off? To be romantic/sexual without the porn? He might actually think you enjoy it as much as he does. Get out of the bedroom away from the tv/dvd player and go at it... kitchen/shower.. whatnot.. can'r watch porn in the shower.. get my drift?
Communication is key honey.. Talk to him.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (20 February 2009):
 "For the Guys/men please let me know what you guys think when you do that to your love one."
WHOA! Slow down woman. You are making an awfully big presumption here.
I don't think most guys would go this far. It is one thing to watch porn when you are on your own, another thing to watch it together as a way to create a mood but watching it during is... well not very polite.
One theory I have had running around my head on this subject is that some people have become so oversaturated with visual stimulation they can no longer do without. Porn is so over the top and maybe present for so long in his life that real sex seems like a pale shadow in comparison. Compare it if you like with women who are so hungup on tv and movie drama that real life romance with a normal guy ain't enough anymore and they go out and seek the drama.
All your 3 points might be correct but the only one who can say for sure is him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009): personaly, my wife is not the best at oral,although she trys.i might find one of my porns that has a good bj seen that does it for me and put it in before she starts.its a lot less frustratung to her.i can finsh the deed and in a lot less time.were both winners,mainly me.im 45 and the tool just dont work like it used to,but i have never even thought about cheating.if a video is all your talking about,look at the alternative.hes bangin you,not out lookin for some strange,maybe getting some STDs
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009): as a guy in his mid 20's with a gf of 3 yrs. that i love and have never cheated on i have this to say...i personally still watch porn even if me and my gf are having sex regularly. What i dont do is watch it in front of her while having sex, that to me is disrespectful. a guy is a guy and i think its normal for him to watch porn..sometimes couples will watch it together, but when hes having sex with you it should be with you and his eyes should be on you not the t.v. if he wants to put a movie on on his own time thats fine but he should give you the courtesy to not put it on while hes with you...hope that helped :-)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009): Sweetie there are way to many variables to this one but I'll to the best I can. There's really alot of gray areas you've left me in here. Is he watching them do something that you won't do? Is he watching just couples, lesbians,bdsm? I find it strange that he does this personally. I've been married 20 years and I never did this. I think you need to be more specific on what type of porn he is watching before anyone can help you.
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