A
female
age
36-40,
*heri22
writes:For about two months or so, I have been hitting on this guy at work. At first, it was just a little flirting, to make him laugh, and he would make me laugh... It evolved into a few emails and he would stop by my department some when I was working and pretend to have business there... Lately the flirting has been pretty blatant... I know that he has to have noticed, because other people at work have. He is a really nice guy and tonight, while flirting, I ask who it is that was standing outside, and he tells me that it is his girlfriend... I was completely thrown! I feel really bad for continually hitting on him. I want to send him an email, apologizing for not realizing he had a girlfriend and for hitting on him so much. What are some suggestions for what I should say in the email?
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at work, flirt, has a girlfriend Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (15 April 2008):
 Hi,
It is not you who owes an apology. It is him.
Why do you feel you need to apologise? He has let this behaviour go on ( and you did nothing wrong , how else are you going to meet a guy if not through a bit of flirting) while all the time he has a girlfriend to go home to.
He is a rat who is looking for a bit on the side, you have nothing to apologise for, be proud you have your values still in tact, he sure as hell hasnt.
A
male
reader, Smiffy  +, writes (15 April 2008):
 I tend to agree with "rythamandblues2"...... he should have been up front with you at the start.....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): I am not sure you owe him an apology....first off flirting is usually a two way street, and he did not bother to mention to you that he had a girlfriend until she had to physically show up, so he is to blame for not putting on the brakes...flirting is harmless fun, unless it is unwanted....if it was unwanted you have something to apologize for because at work it could be construed as harassment, not to mention embarassing if all your coworkers noticed.
Personally I find some of this behavior in the workplace unprofessional and immature, so try to tone it down...work is not like meeting men at a club, you should try to be more businesslike and FRIENDLY not flirty if you want to have people's respect.
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