A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My baby is due in 6 weeks and Im really excited... not nervous... honestly :)My problem is that other than my fiance I dont know who I want in the delivery room with me, my mom or my mother in law.This might seem like a straight forward choice for most but me and my mom have a past. She abandoned me and my siblings when I was 15. I have never truly forgiven her for this but I see her when I can and she does make an effort with me. I think she had some emotional problems I didnt understand at the time but I know she loves me. My mom lives aboout a 3 hour drive way from me so i didnt count on her being at the birth, but she has offered to drive down as soon as i feel a contraction to be with me.Well my MIL knew I wasnt counting on my mom being there and offered to be in the room with me. i never definitely said yes but i think she really wants to be.Well the thing is i think i would rather have my mom there, even though Im not 100% close to her, but she is still my mom and shes had 4 babies naturally without pain relief... so she would be a real help to me.But if i tell my MIL i want my mom in with me instead of her she might be upset as i think she thought she was going in and she has done alot for me wheras my mom hasnt done as much. Also my mom isnt as reliable as my MIL. I would choose my MIL but im not as close to her and she is quite negative about giving birth and keeps telling me horror stories about her 2 experiences... telling me I will definitely need pain relief and i need someone positive and reassuring not negative.Its getting abit much tbh and I feel lke just not having anyone but my finace in there with me.What do I do? I dont want to upset anyone but its upsetting me!Thanks for reading.
View related questions:
fiance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009): Why don't you just invite both of them?
A
female
reader, babymama99  +, writes (5 July 2009):
 I think you need your mom there. My mom was there for both of my kids births. It's a cherrished memory. I don't think there is anything like seeing your baby, have a baby.Break it easy to your future mother in law - she will understand and she can always wait in the waiting room until the baby is out and then join the after party.Check with the hospital and see if you can have both women there, maybe that will solve your problems and everyone will be happy.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2009): deffinately your own mother. your MIL will understand, and once the baby is here, your MIL will be too busy coo'ing over him/her to let it be an issue.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2009): Probably a question for the ladies but as a dad of three I'll give my two penn'orth.As an expectant dad, I'd be secretly feeling a little pissed off that you'd want anyone else there other than me. You've given very good reasons why you'd want both mum and mum-in-law but equally, you've given very good reasons why neither should be in attendance. You'll have all the expert, comforting advice in the form of nurses, midwife etc. All you really need is the old man to complete the picture, to give you all the help and encouragement you're gonna need.Just tell mum and mil this and I'm sure they'll understand.Oh - good luck by the way!
...............................
|
