A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I recently started dating a man who I've liked for many years. But we split up for a short while beceuse of a misunderstanding and I thought we wouldn't get back together so I got drunk then slept with an ex boyfriend (bearing in mind I didn't cheat on new boyfriend). I am now back together with new boyfriend and I will never cheat on him and I trust him too. I don't think he needs to know about what I did when we weren't together does he?
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drunk, get back together, split up Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007): Although it would be the right thing to do, telling him won't make things better in any way, and it'll just hurt his feelings.
You should probably save him the heartache.
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (24 November 2007):
 You did not cheat. You are entitled to your privacy.
However, the chances are high that he will find out, and if you think he would not take it well, then yes, tell him (no details)if he asks. Do not lie about it. Otherwise, you can always tell him that it is not his business who or what you do when the two of you are broken up.
The biggest issue is that other people will know, and if he hears it from them, it could bother him more than if he heard it from you.
-Frank B Kermit
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe both were finished at the time, and before we split up he was receiving and sending texts to his ex girlfriend who was trying to get back with him even though she knew I was with him. He offered to take her out for a coffee. This girl had hust split up with her boyfriend whom she is pregnant to and she sent a text to my boyfriend saying she missed him...I knew there was something wrong and read his texts. The next day I confronted him subtly and he admitted she'd been texting him and answered most questions I asked about her. He missed the part out where he'd texted it was her ex boyfriend's loss and he was only a phone call away. I took it that my boyfirnd mean't as a friend and we were ok. Then two days later, he received more texts saying she still wanted to get back with him, he replied but immediately deleted the sent and received texts from his phone when I asked him...he denied it at first (but I was aware he'd deleted them) and he then admitted it again. Bearing in mind, when it happened before he promised that he would tell me straight if it happened again but he lied...I was aware he'd received several texts and sent several (he'd been sat in front of me when he did so) and so I knew he'd deleted them for definite. He went home after a while and said he'd ring but didn't...he thought we'd split up and so did I. Si I don't think I cheated on him afterall...I was out and bumpe in to an ex boyfriend, we had a laugh together and a few drinks for 'old time's sake, got drunk and ended up more-or-less in bed. I made him stop after only a few seconds as I was scared and he stopped immediately. i've never done anything like this before and now my new boyfriend and I have sorted things and agreed to start all over again I will never do anything to hurt him, he can trust me and I think I can trust him. He's my brother's best mate and I spoke to my brother about his ex and he said he wouldn't ever cheat on me. I now believe this (as I'm very close to my brother and he wouldn't just tell me that, i know he'd be livid if his best mate cheated on his own little sister).
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (24 November 2007):
 Hi, my advice is too not tell him, you were on a break, and this isnt classed as lying unless he asks you about it.. stay safe :) I hope i helped, feel free to mail me about anything :) x
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (24 November 2007):
Hi, my advice is too not tell him, you were on a break, and this isnt classed as lying unless he asks you about it.. stay safe :) I hope i helped, feel free to mail me about anything :) x
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007): No. And don't ask about his sex life during the split, either.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007): Dont tell him, he doesnt need to know a thing. Just move on and forget about it yourself.
take care
xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007): It depends on what you mean by you split up for a short time. Ask yourself, would you want to know if he had slept with his ex during this break-up? Or, do you think he would want to know? Would you be hurt if you found out that he had been with someone else?
Like Phiatiger says, it is usually best to be honest because these things have a nature of coming out sooner or later.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007): I don't think he NEEDS to know but you might wanna tell him anyway just to restart things honestly. The bigger issue is that I hope this "split-up" was as real to him as it seemed to be for you at the time. If he wouldn't have slept with an available ex at the time, then he'll probably think it was pretty cold for you to have done it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007): That depends on whether there is any way that it could turn round and bite you on the bum, surely it is best to be honest? It would hurt him much more if it got back to your new boyfriend from someone else, such as the gloating ex.
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