A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupids,I would really appreciate some advise..Apologies for the long post!I've been with a guy for the last year and a half..I adore him...We've had several ups and as many downs..I am his first proper relationship and he is my third. In a few days, he leaves for three months. This has been planned for a long time. Initially we thought we would stay together but I knew (knowing my insecurities and history of depression) I would struggle greatly. I didn't want to be miserable, like I have been in previous relationships when this happened, so I asked that we break up. This has nothing to do with being "free and single"...I just didn't want to go to that dark lonely place again for this relationship. We can both be quite jealous too which has caused arguments..This greatly upset my boyfriend initially...I myself was extremely upset, especially at the thought of loosing him forever. But I felt (being a sufferer of depression) that I owed it to look after myself.. I second guessed myself, (I know I didn't think things through properly) and have since asked him to maintain the relationship while he's away..but he's not interested..which breaks my heart. I suppose I deserve it!..I really wish I thought things through and now I feel so lost and stupid.We both love each other. I cannot stress how much I adore him..I would love to work on building a future together..and he knows this..But as this is his first relationship and he's a few years younger than me, he seems to avoid any plans..even holidays.he has said that he wants to keep in touch over the summer.Which I would love..and possibly talk about us when he returns.. what we really want..If we're really right for eachother..My problem is this.. While I know that I completely ruined everything by expressing my fear of sadness when he's away..and deserve his current feelings..Am I stupid to believe that he'll come back to me??...How do I win him back??...How do I ensure that my heart doesn't completely sink without him?? Is it too late..should I just move on??We're not fighting with eachother right now..There is no animosity whatsoever..He has pulled away from me however as he feels that it will make seperating harder.Dear Cupids...Please help!
View related questions:
jealous, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2013): Hi, He is trying to keep his distance to avoid an uncomfortable situation. You need to give him the space to figure it out. Dont pressure him and beg him as it will be futile. He knows how you feel and its up to him whether he wants to fight for a relationship with you.
Start the no contact as its what you need to start healing.
|
