A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am 22 and never been on a date because no man has ever asked me out and I don't know where to go to find men who want to date me.I don't frequent bars or clubs. I have tried doing some volunteering activities and in college I previously joined an organization but have not had any luck in the love department because the men did not seem interested in me. I am about to graduate college without any guy interested in me. The only men I seem to attract are older taxi/uber drivers who tell me I am beautiful (they just compliment me, they don't ask me out). I don't wear makeup a lot but I don't have horrible skin. I am 5'4 and weigh 125 lbs. I dress modestly. What should I do in order for me to actually get dates and maybe eventually have a bf........? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, TylerSage +, writes (27 October 2017):
 It's 2017, The world wants trans-gendered bathrooms, equal pay for both genders and cars that work on electricity. Times are changing, sitting down and looking pretty won't work as much anymore. Everyone is getting more skilled and as result methodologies are changing. You seem to be the type who is aware that she's attractive so with that under you belt you don't believe you should ever approach a man as it might spell desperation or clingy-ness. Sure not every single man on plant earth wants to be approached my a woman but men do appreciate candour. Smile, start a conversation, play the damsel in distress, ask for the time, tell him he's cute, ask for his number, you're going to have to make some effort. Sometimes being cute alone isn't enough.I'm not expecting you to get down on your knees and propose but you need to take a bit more risks and put yourself out there. Don't be a bore.All the best.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (26 October 2017):
 From your post, it seems like you "sit" and wait for a guy to approach YOU and ask YOU out. Have you ever met a guy YOU thought:" hmm he looks yummy, I'd like a shot at that?"
Do you go out with friends? Not only to bars (because I don't think bars and clubs are a great place to meet someone) but out to a movie, dinner, brunch, shopping etc?
Because you CAN meet people ANYWHERE.
You tried to join ONE club and didn't get a bite, that happens. Doesn't mean there is something "wrong" with you. It might just have meant that you joined a group of people and didn't stand out to any of those and maybe none of the guys there stood out to you.
Meeting guys through family and friends could be another option. Or like Denizen suggests, by volunteering. And the added BONUS of being a volunteer is that it says something POSITIVE about you as a person which many people find attractive.
I met my husband (of 20 years) on a ski slope. He quite literally "fell" for me. (and yes, I found out later that was on purpose because HE had noticed me). I wasn't on that slope to "find" me a man. It just happened. I think when you are NOT searching and looking (at least not desperately) you are more likely to run into people YOU find interesting and who could find YOU interesting as well. I have generally found that I have been approached by men when I am out having fun with friends.
Go OUT and live life, go to galleries, museums, fairs, hiking (whatever your interests are) and just MEET people. You might NOT run into "THAT guy" but you might run into his sister or friend who might introduce you.
If you don't WANT to seem too forward (when a guy catches your eyes out in public) then USE subtly. Give him a smile or ask him a question (if possible) which makes you seem INTERESTED without seeming to be "pushy".
I'd avoid anything with taxi and Uber drivers for now. The probably hit on all the cute girls. That doesn't mean they are interested, just a little sleazy.
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (26 October 2017):
 Most of us men carry a little conceit ('Little!' I hear the other female aunts scream). We like to think we are interesting. We like to be encouraged to expound on our favourite subject and have a woman sit at our feet as we drone on about some hobby or pursuit. Have you tried that? Have you ever pretended to be interested in whatever your target man is interested in? Have you sat wide eyed as he bored the pants off you about his sport?Well that is one way to get him interested in you, because he thinks you are interested in him.It is only a ploy. He may be doing the same thing. I know my girlfriend's sizes and favourite styles and colours. I can be a great shopping partner - boredom permitting.Bars are not a great place to meet men. They are just looking to hook up for the night. Clubs, volunteering, dinner parties, BBQs, I think, are a safer bet.Good hunting.
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