A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Well I'm feeling kind of embarrassed. I reach out to my old friends probably once a year. I reached out to who seemed like a little brother because his parents were like surrogates to me for 6 years. He never saves my number so I said can you save it? It's me from the old neighbor. Apparently it was his wife asking who I was. After I said who and from where( which was really weird bc here I am thinking I'm texting my old friend). Then I get a text saying, hey that's my wife! As if I'm supposed to know it was her. I immediately apologized and reiterated his parents were very special to me and I was just checking in( as I always do). No response back. I felt bad afterwards. I have never, ever felt anything sexual towards this childhood friend. I remember listening to his mom's tummy when she was expecting his brothers. I didn't understand why he couldn't have explained to her who I was first before dragging me into their marital drama. I even mentioned the old street name too. My ex-husband was a very jealous person and whenever I would see him or his brothers, I would hug them and chat. So I guess I feel bad about that too. It also made me think should I be this way too?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (25 October 2017):
 You didn't do anything wrong so don't blame yourself. Whatever is happening in there marriage it has nothing to do with you. If they have trust issues or disagreements again not your fault. Maybe he likes to make her think that other women are interested in him, or maybe she has trust issues, either way it might just be best to stop contacting him if this is the reaction that you get.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2017): No! Whatever is going on, was underway long before you contacted your friend.
He's got problems with his marriage; and you just inadvertently stepped into an ongoing situation about marital-trust. He is apparently in trouble, and she has probably experienced or suspects infidelity; or has jealousy and/or insecurity issues. Whether her concerns are justified or unjustified; how the hell would you know what's going on? You were just calling a friend.
Becoming immediately alarmed at the fact a woman called speaks volumes about the state of their marriage. That's not even remotely your fault!
Shake it off. You just got a little of their drama sprayed your way!
If his parents are alive; give them a call, or try and contact his brothers.
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A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (25 October 2017):
With the news media pitching so much sensationalism at us these days, it becomes more and more easy for people to overreact and assume the worst. Be yourself and don't worry so much about how others react to you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (25 October 2017):
 No need to beat yourself up, OP
You did something that you have done before - reaching out and saying hey how are you doing? And it happened that instead of reaching the (intended recipient) GUY, his wife saw it.
IF you wrote NOTHING inappropriate, just a hey it's me blah blah, how are you? Why would that start drama? THAT is on them!! It started drama because DRAMA is part of their marriage. Nothing to do with you. I bet you if his former dentist (female) had called or texted to see if getting those wisdom teeth pulled (or whatever ) the wife would have made a drama out of that too.
Just stop beating yourself up. You DID nothing wrong here.
The wife made a choice thinking YOU must be someone he has a sexual or intimate past with and thus it MUST be drama and HE chose not to try and explain WHO you are. Probably because he knows she 1. wouldn't believe it and 2. she would start drama.
I'd just NOT reach out to HIM anymore. There is no point in doing so. Especially if it means you get sucked into some marital drama.
Let it roll off your back, OP you didn't DO anything wrong.
YOU didn't start the drama.
Eh, don't waste your time here.
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