A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What to do with my girlfriend?I am a 15 years old boy and I've been going out with my girlfriend for about 6 months now. Still, I loved her longer than that. It's been four years that I've fallen in love with her and I've stayed devoted to her even though she wasn't mine. I am considered as a pretty mature person for my age and I look at things differently, especially love. In our relationship, we've had our ups and downs but it seems like whenever we get in a fight, I'm always the one that should go talk to her, and apologize even though I've done nothing wrong. Sometimes, I would be angry at her and the only thing she does is...not care. I don't get angy at her very often - not like her - because I find it pointless and she only reverses the situation on me by getting angry at me for a reason that she takes as an excuse to get angry at me!At the beggining of our relationship, she wouldn't even come talk to me at my locker at school because she had too much "pride". So I always had to go talk to her or she wouldn't talk to me all day. Also, she is a very jealous girl, I don't mind that really because jealousy can also mean that she loves me and wouldn't want to lose me but there is a limit. Sometimes she would get angry at me for no reason and wouldn't tell me why but when I find out, it's because she saw me talking to some other girl and she got jealous. Worst part is, she knows it's stupid! She does get angry at me very often and is very immature. When she's angry, she tells me she doesn't want to see me nor talk to me. She's very, very stubborn.Still, she tells me she loves me, and that she would do anything for me and wants to be with me all her life. She says she would never want to be with any other guy and that I'm the guy of her dreams. But I can't seem to see it anymore. I feel like she's careless and that she doesn't love me the way I do. Because believe me, I love her with all I've got. I feel like I love her more than she does. Sometimes I even go to the point where I would want to break up wth her and she would say "I don't care, we fight all the time, maybe it would be better that way.". That really pisses me off, I mean, how could someone say that to the person they're in love with? She says pretty nasty stuff that sincerely hurt.I don't know what to do sometimes. I love her, I've made a lot of sacrifices for her and always have been there for her but I hate how she treats me. Then there's those times where I absolutely love everything about her and she is so wonderful...What should I do?How can I do something about it without losing my girlfriend?Is this really worth it?Please...judge the situation not by the age of the poster but by the contents of what is written, put yourself in my position.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your answers, if you want to continue reading about it all...you can go to this link:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-it-me-or-is-this-getting-worse.html
A
female
reader, PsyCookie  +, writes (1 September 2008):
 You do sound like a very mature guy who truely loves your girlgfriend.
But sadly, it doesn't seem that she loves you.
And sorry to tell you, JEALOUSY does NOT equal LOVE. Loving someone is trusting the person in ANY situation. Yes, a person might get jealous, but would still trust their lover. She clearly doesn't do this.
What do you do without losing your girlfriend? Hard to tell you. What would clearly happen is that she will leave you, in her own words because you "weren't good enough to her".
But you do have to stand your ground. The only thing I can imagine that you could do and have a glimpse of possibility to keep her is to ignore her, completely. Don't talk to her, don't approach her, don't call her, don't anything. This girl has taken you for granted, to tell you the truth, and sometimes people don't realize what they had until they have lost it.
I know it's not easy to do, but you wanted an answer, right? If you keep on doing what you're doing now, she will treat you the same way: like her dog. You're just a pet to her... a pet she feels can easily dispose of.
I know you don't want to lose her and it's SO clear that you indeed love her. But you know, you gotta remember this old saying: "Set a bird free and if it doesn't come back, it was never yours"
Please, don't let her use you like this. You don't deserve it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2008): The apologizing when it isn't your fault thing, that isn't ever going to stop. That is how men stay married.
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A
female
reader, lilgirly  +, writes (31 August 2008):
 well...she doesn't really care about you...sorry to say it that way..but i already know what it means to treat someone like that because i've done it before and it's not something i can be proud of..
anyways,i know it hurts..and what i'll tell you to do now seems impossible but it might work..try not to show her you care so much,and ignore her when she might be sad..and don't even try to chase her.and when she picks up a fight act as if you don't care..after that she will come and say she's sorry and if she doesn't well you're just waisting your time with her..so don't say that you want to break up with her and then back down when you really want to break up say it and mean it..
she obviously wants to hurt you.. when she tells you"we're better that way"
take care...and put your foot down!XXXX
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A
female
reader, shiraz  +, writes (31 August 2008):
hey, i just read through your question and it seems you really do love this girl! But the thing that got to me most was she knows this too and feels its ok for her to be angry and possesive of you but when its turned the other way shes not so happy. You need to sit down and talk to this girl, tell her extally how your feeling,if your honest with her she might chnage the way she is. On the other hand if you look at it shes treated you a bit unfairly, even though shes aware of how much you love her. At the begining of your relationship she had too much 'pride' to een come and talk to you, that shows a pretty selfish person and i know its hard to hear of the girl you love but i think even you begining to see it.
You seem a lot more mature than she is so maybe shes still growing up, and with girls jealousy is a big thing so try to understand it from her point of view (even though the way she handles it tells me shes insecure and imature).
Its up to you if you want to carry on the relatinship and i realise it must be hard for you to think of loving someone else but there is love after love (if you get me!) and maybe it is time to call an end to this relationship the fact that youve loved her for so long is going to be whats hardest on you but shes got used to being able to treat you the way she wants knowing she can do anything and you will be the one apolagizing!this is unfair in any relationship but to do it to somebody you suposedly love, she seems to just be using you. It hurts and im not going to say it will get better but its completely up to you weather to take a fresh start or wipe a new slate clean on this current relationship,(hope this has helpped a bit)
good luck
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