A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Should I be paying 50% of the rent if my husbands daughter and son and his brother witch are all grown except the baby living here? I recently told him he is to pay the entire rent himself and not look for nothing from me since they do not contribute anything. I just want to make sure I'm doing the correct thing with my marriage. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (11 May 2012):
 As the other answers have said, if they are all adults (who have jobs) then they should pay their share too. However you should still contribute - it doesnt mean you can sit back and pay nothing.
However it would depend on the situation - say if they were going through a hard time and needed help from family then asking them to pay rent would be unfair. But if they are working full time and simply living in your house, then yes they should be paying rent to you and your husband.
It is hard to advise you with such little information - it would help to know how old his children are, if they have jobs, what the reasons are for them moving in with you....etc.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2012): What you should and should not do is a matter of opinion and it's a matter only you can decide.
If you ask me you're being petty. Your problem is that they don't contribute anything and your solution is to not contribute anything? That makes you just as bad and just as much of a moocher as them then. Doesn't it? That means your husband is then living with 4 other adults, all moochers who don't contribute including you.
How about you discuss ways in which they can contribute? If they're living with you then I assume they've hit hard times and haven't the money to live anywhere else. If that's the case then set up a time frame for them to get jobs, find another place etc and also set up some conditions where they contribute in terms of chores.
Instead of making things difficult for your husband and throwing your toys out of the pram why not try and actively help his family to sort themselves out and find their own living arrangements. If they are working then discuss with your husband them making a contribution.
Look if they really fallen on hard times cut them a bit of slack, he can't exactly throw them onto the streets and I really don't see what you forcing him to pay everything and punishing him is going to do any good. I don't see how you making life even more difficult for your husband is going to fix this situation.
Talk to him and them, tell them you're not happy with this arrangement and not happy having to pay their way but in all honesty cutting off your contribution too is petty and it makes you a moocher too, it's kind of hypocritical to give out about something only to do it yourself. I mean what next? You're going to move out on your own because you don't want to have to pay for anything for anyone else ever?
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (11 May 2012):
 If there are 5 adults in the house split it 5 ways. 20% each.
It sounds to me like you are not liking sharing a house with your in laws and certainly don't think it's fair you should help pay for the costs. ( I wouldn't want to PAY to have my in laws living with me either, quite honestly, unless is was a VERY short term solution to help them get back on their feet 3-6 months)
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2012): The parent of the baby should pay a small portion more than the rest of you but I would take 90% of the rent and devide it between the 5 grown ups and then add the other 10% to the parent for the baby. That's fair!!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2012): Wow! Really! Wow!
Seen as you are living there, the right thing to do with your marriage is make some kind of contribution and ask the inlaws to also contribute something or else your poor husband will get so stressed out and end up leaving hinself.
Then were would all you free loaders be?
I have exactly the same problem with my other half right now!
He stays at my house every night, eats in my home, uses the utilities etc yet flat out refuses to make any financial contribution and in all honesty I resent it!
Your husband will only do the same eventually.
...............................
A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (11 May 2012):
 5 adults = 5 way split of the rent...that's 100% fair.
Speak to him...of course if he wants to put up their portion on the rent that's up to him.
You should only be paying a fifth...That's what Judge Judy would say :-)
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2012): Well since you are also living there and using the utilities its only fair that you should contribute something. Whether its half or less is the issue. Do you share money with your husband?
...............................
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (11 May 2012):
 Are you saying your husband should pay all of the rent?
What about his son and daughter chipping in with money toward it if they are working?
When you say you told him to "not look for nothing from me" it sounds rather conbative..........
See what other aunts and uncles have to say.
...............................
|
