A
female
age
26-29,
*arnes
writes:ok well i am goin out wit this guy and yes i wanna have sex so dose he but Idk how to go about it im in my childhood i was bein touch unwillingly and now it seems if i get so close to him i start to breath heavy and get frightened please help me a few years ago i was put in therapy but it never helped me please please help me Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2009): and STD's. Also, young girls under the age of 21 or so at are a very high risk of contrating the HPV virus, and you don't have to have multiple partners to get it or even have sex more than once. HPV in women can lead to cervical cancer a deadly disease. I worked with a 19 year old girl who had sex on two occassions and later was diagnosed with cervical cancer at 19!
You owe it to yourself to educate yourself about sex and the consequences of having sex when you are a child.
My recommendation for you is not to have sex with anyone until you are older and ready for it in all aspects.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2009): You are not ready to have sex so don't force yourself to have sex with your boyfriend just because you think that is the thing to do.
If you are under the age of 18, you are too young to be having sex, actually you should wait until you are able to financially support a baby and have plans to wed, but I realize that most kids today think they have to have sex sooner than later.
Sex your first time at your age will be a big let down, more often than not your young boyfriend will break up with you soon after because he loses respect for you, isn't emotionally mature enough to have a sexual relationship and will have some hangups of his own around the subject of sex at this young age.
If you do this feeling like you do, you are going to end up traumatized by the whole experience and that is not good for you.
There are many things to think of before you become sexually active, birth control (condoms break and slip and have a high failure rate) unwanted pregnancies and st
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (13 July 2009):
 Well if you where older id say have a shot of bacardi, but at your age id say stick to red bull and chocolate bars to loosen up a bit there may be no real way to get over that trauma as you said the therapy didnt help but you might be able to work around it ive seen chocolate do some crazy things to a girl lol. secondly maybe your just not ready dont rush it if your bf cares about you hell understand and give you time you dont have to jump straight into sex you can start slow just get used to be touched try giving each other massages then putting lotion on each other after a shower once you get used to his touch and see that hes not gonna hurt you or do anything you dont want to it will get easier let him no how you feel as well cause if you dont tell him hell be confused and think hes doing someting wrong you have plenty of time to have sex so just start off with the simple stuff making out and kissing any way be safe always use protection. on another note you should get some books or search online for sex educational type of things if you dont have some one to talk about it with
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A
female
reader, Felisha Marie +, writes (13 July 2009):
 Try to do exercises with your mind on putting the image you have in your head when the person in the past 'touched' you, to where it doesnt seem so scary. Look at it as you were a kid, even though you are still a child, you are more mature, correct? So look at it as its in the past, maybe blck and white when you imagine it, then let it just fade away. If you repeat this process, it will eventually just seem as a past experience and shouldn't bother you in the future. If this is something you both want to do, tell him to take it slow with you and take it from there ok?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2009): Aw you poor thing!
It sounds like what your experienceing is flashbacks (of such) from your bad experience, which means your insicure with your bf. You've just got to remember that hes safe someone you love and trust. Remember he loves you and does'nt want to hurt you! Dont worry I dont no your bf but if you really do love each other then you should be fine!
Hope this helped x x
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