A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Quite often, that term is usually not viewed as a compliment (at least amongst many guys). Has this always had a dual meaning? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (26 April 2013):
 There's a great discussion of it here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nice_guy
I think it all depends on who is using the label and to whom it is being applied.
My grandmother calling someone a "nice guy" meant that he would shovel her walk when it snowed and didn't play his music too loud, and that he was presentable.
A competitor calling a rival businessman a "nice guy" might mean that the competitor thought he was going to clean the "nice guy's" clock, in the business sense, of course.
A mother calling a someone a "nice guy" might mean she hopes her daughter will date the conventionally successful and polite young man she knows, instead of the leather-clad unemployed self-described 'artist' who roars up to her house on his tricked out motorcycle every Saturday at 11 p.m, wakes up the neighborhood then takes her daughter out until 10 a.m. the next morning.
A high school girl applying the term to a classmate means that he seems a decent enough sort, and she'd encourage her girlfriend to date him but has no romantic interest in him herself.
I think the negative connotation is applied when the self-professed "nice guy" who has spent time being "nice" to a woman in the hopes that she will want to date him, becomes annoyed when his niceness doesn't do the romantic/attraction trick and causes her to fall in love with him. It's negative because he's not really being nice for the sake of it, he's being nice because he has a hidden agenda, i.e. to make her a romantic or sexual partner.
In the wikipedia article I cited: "A common aphorism is that "nice guys finish last." The phrase is attributed to baseball manager Leo Durocher in 1939, though a) Durocher's remark was specific to the context of baseball, and indeed to the context of that set of players, rather than intended as generally applicable to male/female relationship dynamics or in any other context and b) his allegation of a cause-and-effect relationship between being nice and finishing last was at most merely implicit. The full quote is "Take a look at them. They're all nice guys, but they'll finish last. Nice guys. Finish last."
I agree with the first commenter on this thread, 'nice' is a general term that means nothing. I could say, "the dessert was nice," which you could take to mean non-offensive and fairly tasty, but not wonderful enough to send my taste buds in to paroxysms of sensual pleasure. It's a step up from "so-so" in a way.
"Nice" could mean "it's fine but could be better."
If you want some really entertaining commentary on the term, go to the urban dictionary and type in "nice guy." There are colorful definitions of that term as well as "nice guy, but" and "Nice Guy, aka creeper."
A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (26 April 2013):
 That's an interesting question... When I use the term nice guy it's normally 'he's a nice guy but...' He's nice but he's not great. There's something you don't like enough about them.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2013): Because any guy who calls himself a "nice guy" in the sense of that being a title is a doormat, pussy who is bitter at women because they don't choose to get with such a weak fool and drop their knickers at his sight.
OP my fiancée, my family, my friends have told me that I am a nice guy but I've never labelled myself as such in any meaningful way. I'm an asshole in a lot of ways too, tactless, over-confident a lot of the time, patronizing, the list goes on.
The difference between me and the 'nice guy' is while I think there are things I'm better at than other people I don't for one second think I'm more worthy of anything than anyone else. I don't have a false sense of entitlement. I've earned, fought for and acquired all I have including women. I don't think for one second I deserve a woman over any other man just because I can be nice or that I'd be able to treat her better.
I don't cry myself to sleep that bad boys are more successful at dating, I'm not in competition with anyone and I have enough of a bad boy streak to get my own women.
OP I have friends who are nice, guys. I don't have time nor friendships with guys who call themselves nice guys, to me that kind of title makes the guy a pitiful fool. Inept and insecure with false sense of entitlement.
"Why do women not like nice guys?" or "Why can assholes like him get women and they don't for nice guys like me?"
You know? Pathetic. I've been that asshole guy that that tepid 'nice guy' stood there and watched chat up, shag and throw away the girl he liked. Want to know my opinion? Well if he was so nice he would have gotten her first, been more assertive and protected her from guys like me that way but instead he just sat back and moped, let my success get to him and then blame women for being more inclined to being swept off their feet by a confident assertive man than some timid little pussy who lick their arse.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2013): I think that the negative association with the term nice guys and "nice guys finish last" was breed out of the American early industrial area when being a complete cut-throt and being willing to get ahead by breaking as many backs as you could and screwing over as many other people over as possible for your own personal gain was not just socially acceptable but also something to aspire to. if you were to give a dollar to a straving street orphan everyone would have thought that you were a fool for losing your money and would have mocked you for it.This isn't entirely capitalism's fault though because it is important to remember that the USA was seed out of z an aggressive act of treason(revolutionary war) and mulitple roits over only 2% taxes on property and common goods(percentage s do not change with inflation) so a spirt of total rebellion agianst anything that would not exclusively benefit youself was a more than common idealogy and if you had a good bone in your body and weren't willing to shaft people in order to get what tou wanted it was considered a sign of weakness because you allowed something (being morals and decentcy) to get beetwen you and your goal.Once the thought process of someone who hates establishments, cares little for others, and takes everything he wants without dignity, pitty, or a second thought, and dose whatever he feels like to others without permission are the signs of a "real man". "Nice Guys Finish Last " was born
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (25 April 2013):
It's like saying "she has a good personality" when describing a blind date. "She's a nice girl."
What comes to mind then?
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (25 April 2013):
 Among everyone I know nice guy is still a positive. The only dual meaning I've heard is that there are guys who are nice (always good) and self-defined "nice guys" who are usually not actually nice at all. 99% of the time the guys complaining that girls never go for nice guys are in the latter category.
The way to tell is that guys who are nice do kind things without expecting a reward. They do it just because it is a nice thing to do. The "nice guys" are only "nice" to women they want sex from, which isn't nice at all, but manipulative.
Most women I know love guys who are nice. In order to be in the category work at bettering yourself as a human, volunteering, getting involved in charities, etc... doing kind things just because it feels good and not to get laid.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (25 April 2013):
 I think that Eve always told anybody who would listen, that Adam was a "nice guy"......
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2013):
My aunt was an English teacher and 'nice' was a word I used to use to describe everything even when I thought it was fab.. Her words to me .. Come now sweetpea, nice is a general term that means nothing .. If you like something put some emotion into , like 'wonderful, splendid, fabulous, etc, ' nice is just plain boring ..
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