A
female
age
30-35,
*a negra
writes:Why do men think that just because a woman is being friendly towards them that we are actually interested in them romantically/sexually etc?? Anyone can answer, I don't care. So I'm on facebook commenting on a guy's status not because I'm into him romantically but because even though he has a lot of friends, no one comments on his statuses lots of times, lol, and he's cool peoples' so I do. And yesterday, he hits me up on my wall and asks me 'when we chillin, if that's ok with you':/ First off, I have been in a relationship for almost three years, my facebook says I'm in a relationship and when I hit him up through a message sayin that, he says I didn't know that you weren't single and I had tickets to six flags and didn't want to go alone. Like wtf!! Is that all men think about?? That makes me wary of men as guy friends because I have another one that knows I have a man but constantly brings up things pertained to sex and me and why the f*ck would I have to remind a friend to not hit on me???? I ranting, I know but I need to know that not all men think of women being friendly as an opening to sex with them please or do they?
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female
reader, la negra +, writes (27 April 2011):
la negra is verified as being by the original poster of the questionCaringGuy, I think you may be right about the types of guys I associate myself with and Trancedrhythmear, I don't think he's a pervert, I just didn't mean to make him think I was interested. I have no clue what saying "LOL" on his status or liking a few DID to make him think this way. Also, I really wasn't trying to flirt. That's the problem here. He thought I was. When is being too nice a crime now? I am very sociable and I do that with all types of people point blank period but this one has to take it to the max and think I want him. I was being NICE but I guess there's no such thing when it comes to guys to be nice to them. The only people whoI have on my facebook are people who I know personally, you couldn't add me otherwise, this isn't myspace where you add random people you don't know and try to hook up or at least not for ME.. It just makes it awkward to have to reject them if they're a friend especially when it's smack in there face on your profile that you are IN A RELATIONSHIP and when you talk about them in facebook statuses like what is that all about?
A
female
reader, la negra +, writes (27 April 2011):
la negra is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, he's been my friend for a while to the comment below me and he tried to hang out with me last year too and I told him "I have a man that I'm very much in love with just so we were clear" but he says "why does it have to be about that, I just think you're cool, and I want to hang out sometime" so this year I don't know what has changed. I realize now that you can't be nice to a guy without him thinking that you want to 'connect' sexualy, so I guess it's back to being a b*tch, lol. Oh, and thank you guys for all the comments, It's nice to hear a guys' perspective on these types of things.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2011): Come…on…woman!!!! It looks like you have heaps to learn about NOT sending out wrong signals. DON’T FLIRT in any way, NOT EVEN MARGINLY if you don’t want to attract attention from guys. Women send out wrong signals all the time, keep guys stringed along, and have this magic way of keeping guys in the friend zone. Guys DON’T want to be friends with girls they meet for the first time!!! All the female friends I have are through work, family and the like. NOT through facebook or other social activities where people get connected after a lot of flirting.
It’s only normal that this guy likes you and is interested in sex. Hell, all us guys are interested is sex!!! If you are looking for guys to only be “friends” with, look elsewhere (library, chess competitions, model airplane clubs) and not on social network sites!!!
His interest in you is basically complement. For fucks sake, you should be happy and not pissed!!!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2011): they do say men think about sex every six seconds. a bit of a generalization, but i can see why its been said: this friend does not respect the fact that youre in a relationship. and hes being innappropiate. a lot of men like going for girls that arent single because they see it as a challenge, but furthermore that dont give a care in the world about who they might hurt in the process as long as they get laid. it sickens me so much and well done to you for saying no. quite a few women would have said yes even if they had a boyfriend. im glad to see someone who actually cares about their other half. i dont see it a lot on here. its mostly just cheaters trying to justify what they did and how it wasnt wrong.
a lot of guys assume that when girls are friendly to them, that girl likes them. its weird. i have girls who i know but dont talk to anymore commenting on my fb sometimes and i dont think ooh she commented on my fb she must like me now.
i agree with caring guy though. i couldnt be friends and nothing more with a girl unless i didnt fancy them.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2011): These are just perverts. Lots out there. Real gentlemen take it as a sign to get to know you for a possible friendship and if things spark maybe its time for progress. Stay away from yeah... he's an idiot.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (27 April 2011):
I think it just depends on the particular guys you associate yourself with. I've got quite a few female friends, but I just don't fancy them. In truth the only way I can have a female friend is if I don't fancy her, otherwise it just becomes awkward.
There will always be men trying their luck, there will always be men who misunderstand, and there will always be men who do actually get that you're just a friend to them.
Maybe you need to find a better class of male friend.
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