A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Kinda long..sorry..I met this really cute guy at a night club. We danced last few songs. Got his number. A few days later I go to his place. We kiss and hug (didn't hit 3rd base), but after we talked and laughed for a few hours. I then saw him again about a week later. Same thing. Went to his place. We made out a little, cuddled, but this time we actually did it. He only lasted 5 seconds. He told me he's not a pimp and hasn't done it in a long time (no kidding) I didn't mind though. I didn't give him a hard time like other girls prob. would've. I stayed and had dinner with his brother and his brothers gf. When we're in his room he touches me in some way. Whether its his feet on mine or something. We were all in the living room (brother and gf) I would catch him looking my way. But when he sat down he didn't sit right next to me, there would be space. We're not dating and I guess its cuz there was other people there. I soon left afterward. He gave me slight kiss on the cheek and a hug. BUT he doesn't really text me unless I text him first. Hes so sweet when I'm there, but when I leave it seems different. I don't know if thats how he is. He also seems to avoiding the question "when are we going to hang out next" or "when are you going to visit me." He has yet to answer that. Whats your view? I don't want to believe I got played..but he says hes not a pimp? I need help here!
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female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (9 August 2008):
 Doesnt sound totally like a player to me, you have said anything specific to say anyway.
Could just be one of those guys that likes you to txt first, atleast at the start, when you get to know each other a bit more, that might well change. He could be mega shy. You might need to do a bit of the chasing. We are in 2008 now, theres no law against a girl chasing a boy!
Give it a go. Dont have sex with him until you see if you are going anywhere. You wont get used if you dont let yourself be.
Good luck
C xxxxx
A
female
reader, sam0590 +, writes (9 August 2008):
guys are confusing in general.. and i wouldn.t even attempt to explain his behaviour. as long as hes good to you whilst you are there id have no worries. in my experience..he doesn't sound like a player. hes prob js busy n so doesnt text you or maybe doesn't want to seem too keen. and also..he may not want to make commitment to see you unless hes sure he can keep them. he probably doesnt wanna let you down. see how it goes but he sounds like a sweet guy. id hold onto him for now. xxx
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A
female
reader, Theoneandonlybutterfly +, writes (9 August 2008):
 He's probably putting you through things because he is feeling bad about what happen that night or probably pushing you away because of what he did. So you are never going to know unless you ask him what is up and what we going to do next?? Make sure u get a answers this time so that why u will not be worried what you did wrong on where you stand with him!!
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A
female
reader, Fiona xxx +, writes (8 August 2008):
 I am beyond knowing the workings of a male mind LOL. It does sound a contradiction in terms in some ways.
From experience this second date thing is a crucial point, where one of you could decide you don't have anything in common or something. It can also be a time when if you don't 'put out' he will disappear, so you cannot win sometimes.
I also sense a contradiction in terms from you, cos you were worried you got played and yet you were happy to sleep together on the second date.
I am not being self-rightous because I have done things sooner, and we are now married. I don't know if this is the exception to the rule.
When I was 18/19 I used to say to guys I don't believe sleeping together on the first or second date, and I would want to wait quite a while first. That way it would rule this kind of thing out.
I would say after a month you know how much you have in common, and perhaps this is a good time to have sex if you don't want to risk feeling used or played.
Otherwise, it could work out, do let us know, as it's a gamble we often do take isn't it.
Fiona.
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