A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a terrific relationship for several months, and at this point hope to become engaged and eventually married to my girlfriend. One serious issue, at least for me, is her best friend. Her friend is married, 40, and has a baby. Both of them like to go out about once per week for girls night out. Sometimes the three of us go out. What I need advice with is the best friend's behavior. She typically leaves her husband at home to babysit. After we all have a few drinks, the friend grabs my ass and kisses me on the mouth (all of this in front of my girlfriend)! My girlfriend tells me that her friend is "a little crazy" and it's no big deal. Well it is a big deal to me and I've told her so. I mean, if one of my guy friends grabbed my girlfriend's ass, there would be a serious conversation! Also, when they go for girls nights out, they always go to gay bars. They usually go to men's bars. My girlfriend tells me that her friend likes for lesbians to buy them drinks, even though they don't flirt. Also, both my girlfriend and her friend like to dance with the men.So, in addition to my question about the odd behavior about touching and kissing, is this normal for a couple of straight women to prefer to hang at gay bars? Why not just go to any old bar? Am I being a good boyfriend (and someday husband) by allowing all this, or should I tell her this isn't ok? My gut tells me it isn't ok but I'm here for suggestions.Thanks!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (22 September 2009):
 Well if she is straight, as her boyfriend, I'd figure she would be the safest at a gay bar. I think it's kind of wierd but not totally off the map. And from now make sure you keep your butt out of the wacky friend's reach.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2009): Dude if you are uncomfortable with it, there is no right or wrong you have got to have a conversation with her. Dont be confrontational about it. The hanging at Gay bars thing you could have an issue with but if you trust her then I wouldnt worry about it. Certainly the friend has got to stop mauling you on nights out. How about the next time her friend comes over to the house sober grab her and kiss her and see how they both like it. or better still say it to her Husband.good luck with it, but remember if you cant talk about this now how will you guys talk if you were to get married.
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