A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi! I'm a 32-year-old female, married. I love my sex life with my husband, yet sometimes I feel the urge to masturbate watching porn, especially porn where girls have painful anal sex (which is something I'd never dream of doing) but that turns me on like you have no idea. I watch it almost daily and I'm starting to think maybe I should start seeing a shrink because this is some sort of twisted perversion. Do you think this is normal or I should look for help?
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female
reader, Atsweet1  +, writes (7 August 2012):
 it's not all that painful with lube it's sort of pleasure pain that's why people do it acting porn is acting action they know what turns us on so they make it i watch porn its normal but people can label it perversion too i like to see oral sex on men or women gay porn lesbian also transgender men that look exactly like women if not better
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2012): Of course its normal to watch people in pain. Most of these women do this for reasons we never have to reckon with I work as a charity support worker for women in the sex industry. The worst thing I experienced was a 22 year old porn star/prostitute with a rectal prolapse which is usually seen in an old woman. The surgeon despaired of her.
What a sad sick society we live in to enjoy watching pain inflicted. Long as its not you or your daughter its fine.
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A
female
reader, MissTellAll +, writes (2 August 2012):
 Pornography is obviously very different that real life. It is a short film designed to turn people (namely, you) on. The fact that you are turned on by the thought of something that wouldn't be exciting in real life is very normal.
It's like people who masturbate o the thought of their SO having sex with someone else. They don't want an open relationship, wouldn't enjoy cuckolding (watching that sort of thing) in real life but it gets them off in their head.
The same goes for you and painful anal sex. While you don't want to inflict pain upon yourself, you enjoy watching it and it gets you of in your head.
There are people who watch BDSM and can't stand the thought of being hurt. The point is, this is norml. The effect of erotic things on the brain is very backward and fascinating.
The only reason for you to worry or seek therapy is if masturbating to this and watching these videos begins to interfere with your life. Are you still able to get off without the videos? Does your husband know about them? Does he know you watch porn at all?
Very critical questions. If it begins to cause problems in your day to day life I suggest therapy, not because your specific interest is a bad one, but because of the effect it has on you. I would say start cutting back from every day to every once in a while just for good measure and to see how you respond to being without it.
If there is no interference and your sex life is still healthy otherwise, then have fun with your porn and don't feel bad about it!
Good luck and I hope this helped
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (2 August 2012):
Firstly, you should remember that people are turned on by all kinds of things. Sometimes to others they may seem completely odd, but to that person it’s what excites them. There is no normal. So you’re certainly not some kind of deviant because of this. But as for whether it’s a problem or not, you need to think about a couple of things. First of all, is it interfering with the rest of your life? When it comes to masturbation, for example, that’s always the standard advice we wheel out when people ask if the frequency with which they masturbate is normal or a problem. If it is, there’s a problem. Secondly, what would your husband think about you watching porn? People are very divided about whether it’s cheating or not, the simple truth is that it is for some people and it isn’t for others. Which side would he come down on and could you accept that position? Also, are you having to hide this from him and lie to keep it a secret? Finally, is it impacting on your sex life with him? You did say that you were very happy with your sex life.
So those are the questions you need to think about to work out if this is a problem or not. If it is, you need to work out whether you’d be able to be disciplined enough to reduce the amount you watch this material as daily is quite a lot, or whether you’re better off blocking whatever service you use to access the pornographic content. The more difficult you make it to access the material, the more steps you’d have to go through and the more chances there would be for you to stop and question whether this is something you really want to do or not. If it’s there and readily available, you’ll end up watching it every day out of habit. Pornography is addictive.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2012): I think you should chill out. Watch it if you enjoy it, it's not harming anyone (but you, if you keep feeling guilty). I'm gay and would never dream of having sex with a woman - I could if I wanted to - but I like watching women sometimes in porn. By all means analyse a bit why you might like it or if there's something lacking in your sex life that could be fixed, but otherwise, be discreet and don't worry.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2012): I think you're perfectly normal and fine. I think plenty of people find things to be a turn on that they wouldn't do in every day life. Porn can be an outlet. I think that's just what this is for you.
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A
male
reader, Hennessy1989 +, writes (2 August 2012):
 If its what does it for you then I wouldn't worry, people are into all different things, ur not hurting or harming anyone by watching it, what you do and enjoy in your own time is your own business so don't worry about it
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