A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i have ended a friendship with a guy ive known for 3 years. at the start he was amazing and was a caring attentive friend. as time went on i knew i had feelings for him but never showed, then i started noticing other stuff like he would tell half truths and lies. i thought at the time he did it to impress me or he had little confidence. when i first met him he had separated from his wife 8 months before and was very fragile. i was there for him a lot and helped him with work but then he was asking for money. i helped as he was in trouble. he always said he appreciated me but i felt otherwise. then we started rowing a lot then make friends then row-think this had a lot to do with me being emotionally attached to him. he said recently he would date me but it would ruin our friendship. the other week he asked me to fix his resume and send it from his email which i did. i discovered a girl he said he was dating turned out to be a Filipino girl and since has scammed him-i saw the email but he wont admit it-nor will he admit giving her money. lately we've distanced so much i said the friendship was through, but regretted saying it but he hasnt contacted me anyway whats the best thing to do please advise
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female
reader, Juliet  +, writes (26 June 2011):
Hi,Really sorry to hear that this is happening to you.In honesty, it sounds like a hard decision you had to make and thats perhaps why you are rethinking it now.In the beginning, it seems he was a great friend to you and for you, and I'm sure that this contributed to why you started to have feelings for him. However, in showing new aspects of himself to you, it altered how you see him. Remember this. You seem to have caught him out on lies he told to you, you saw that he was acting unappreciative towards you and you recognised that it was perhaps wrong of him to ask you for money. You yourself see that he is relying on you for not only some money, but also to do favours for him like fix his resume. All in all, it sounds like you acknowledged for yourself that he was taking advantage of the relationship you had - one in which he (and you) knew you felt more feelings for him - and so you decided to take back some control by ending it. I think this may have been a smart move on your part because ultimately how can this have been making you happy? Friendships are meant to ADD to the quality of your life. You never said you were benefiting from this relationship with him in any way. Plus, sadly, he hasnt contacted you anyway - as you said.I think its time he put some effort in, so leave it alone and see what happens. Wait for him to do something. With regards to the other issue of the Filipino girl - he was embarrassed to be caught having been a fool. Of course he will not want to discuss it or admit it outright - but thats okay. Would you want to admit something similar?Regardless of what happens, I'd not be too worried that he didnt want to confess to having made a mistake with her. Best of luck,:)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2011): probably best to just leave things as they are - out of contact. this guy's a mess and he'll only drag you down with him.
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