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What to do to make it up to my close friend after kissing her boyfriend?

Tagged as: Cheating, Friends, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 October 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 26 October 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

basically i feel like a car crash would be the best punishment for me now. i feel so bad about myself.

last night i kissed my close friend's boyfriend.I have known her since we were 9. our families were close together. She's been with her boyfriend 5 years. he's always fancied me and he always sort of comes on to me when he's had a drink. last night the lad that i have been seein was horrible to me and snubbed me while i was out with my friend. i felt so stupid and low and unattractive. he didn't want to know me. then when we got back to my friends house my friend went to bed(after we'd had a row ) and he was bein really nice to me. we sat talkin for ages and he was just sayin really nice things like I'll meet someone eventually and they're going to feel like the luckiest man alive because I'm lovely, bubbly and really attractive. it made me feel better. then he was sayin if he had me he wud worship the ground i walked on and never leave my side and how long he has fancied me and that i do his head in cos he likes me so much. i'm ashamed to say he kissed me and i didn't stop him. i let him cuddle me and hold me and kiss me. i just wanted to feel loved. I reasoned it with myself that it didn't matter cos my friend had kissed his best friend before. but today i really really hate myself for what i have done to her.

I feel like i'm not worth the air that i'm breathing.

i don't even know what advice i want. probably just want to hear from anyone else that has done this and their experiences. what can i do to make it better for her? i don't want to tell her cos she'll cut me out and that wud be horrible. wat can i do to make it up to her? please help

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A female reader, pepper27 United Kingdom +, writes (26 October 2008):

pepper27 agony auntHi Hunny

Ok so it happened and alot of people would say horrible things that would do you no good at all..I do believe you did this because you felt vunerable and not wanted by anyone and he was giving you all the good things you needed to hear...You no I dont like it when someone is vunerable this way and another person takes advantage of this, Yes you did wrong love but he new what he was doing and your friend although may not believe you needs to no what he is capable of, This happened to me yrs ago now with my best friends fella although when he came on to me and tryed to kiss me I punched him out of shock but I still had to tell my friend as I felt he was making a fool out of her, I was sure she would never believe me and I was sure she would never speak to me again but I told her and it worked out although it hurt me it was the right thing to do even if I lost her friendship it was right in my mind...You have to speak to your friend you have to get her by herself and be honest with her...This is just my views on it hunny as I couldnt live with that on my mind it would hurt to much..This is one of those moments in time when you may have to do something you dread but its I feel the only way to put things right...Many people may not agree and say dont tell her, Let her no nothing and carry on as normal she will be hurt and there is no need to hurt her but her fella is doing this behind her back and if that were me id want to no...So you may get alot of different views on this hunny, only you will no what is right for you....TAKE CARE WITH LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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A female reader, easternkygirl United States +, writes (26 October 2008):

stop being so hard on yourself, u just have to realize that you have made a bad mistake of kissing your best friends boyfriend, it's already happened , you know it shouldn't have happened, but IT DID, and theres not anything that you can do to go back and change it. you just have to ACCEPT IT, and most importantly just forgive yourself and realize that it must not ever happen again. if i were you, i would not tell your friend about it, some things are better LEFT UNSAID! i know you feel bad about it and want to make it up to her, but you will probably lose your friendship with her if you tell her, and you don't want that. it would be different if the two of you had had sex, then that would be a different story all together, but you didn't . i just don't think it's worth losing a good friendship over a kiss . a kiss that NEVER needs to happen again. this may not be the right advice judged on what other people thinks, but its what i would do in that situation. i am giving you this advice with my best of intentions and hope that everything turns out for the best on whatever you decide to do. good luck and best wishes.

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